The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The line graph gives information about the proportion of the
population
in four
countries
(
Philippines
,
Malaysia
, Thailand and Indonesia) dwelling in
cities
between 1970 and 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, including entire
countries
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals who resided in
cities
continuously
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
over the 7 decades.
In addition
, in 2040
Malaysia
will possess the highest number of citizens among the four
countries
.
On the other hand
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
three
countries
'
population
rates will
lower
Add a missing verb
be lower
show examples
than
Malaysia
Change noun form
Malaysia's
show examples
in the same year. Turning to the data in more detail, in 1970,
Malaysia
and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
had almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount of
population
approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% and 31% respectively.
However
, after 7 decades,
Malaysia
will have eight-tenth of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
in the
cities
and both
countries
have a similar trend. Looking at the details, in 1970, Indonesia had the lowest rate of
population
dwelling in
cities
around 13%, but overtook Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
in 2000 and 2010 respectively.
Moreover
,
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
changed
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
twice between 1970 and 2040.
Submitted by subin12260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, philippines, malaysia, cities with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: