Professionals such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree?

#professionals #doctors #nurses #teachers #sports #entertainment #personalities

Should

professinals

Correct your spelling

professionals

such

doctors

nurses

and

teachers

get a higher salary than the ones working in the sports and entertainment branches? Of

course

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course,

show examples

both of these

type

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types

show examples

of occupations

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

important in different ways, but to

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me,

show examples

it is given. I do agree that the professions involved in the

well being

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well-being

show examples

of our

society

should be paid more. But some people may ask why

Change the punctuation

show examples

Firstly

doctors

nurses

and

teachers

are professions that can change

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

For instance

doctors

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doctors'

doctor's

show examples

and

nurses

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nurses'

nurse's

show examples

work can be a matter of life or

dead

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death

show examples

. Our whole

society

depend

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depends

show examples

on that we have educated

residences

Replace the word

residents

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can help us when we get

indjured

Correct your spelling

injured

. And with that said, the

affect

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effect

show examples

teachers

have on us is huge. The work they put in

influence

Fix the agreement mistake

influences

show examples

all our

cilitizen

Correct your spelling

citizens

citizen

and they deserve a high salary.

Secondly

, without the work of

doctors

and

nurses

Add a comma

nurses,

show examples

the

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

industry would not even be functional.

For example

athleates

Correct your spelling

athletes

are often

hurted

Correct your spelling

hurt

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their

ocupation

Correct your spelling

occupation

. If we would not have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

well developed

Add a hyphen

well-developed

show examples

hospitalities

Replace the word

hospitals

show examples

all the people in

brasches

Correct your spelling

branches

such

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apply

show examples

sports would never be able to recover from their

indjury

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injury

. Our whole

society

depended

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good working healthcare and it should be a självklarhet that they should earn more

then

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than

show examples

others.

To conclude

, our

society

depended

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dependent

show examples

ocupations

Correct your spelling

occupations

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nurses

doctors

and

teachers

. Without

them

Add a comma

them,

show examples

we would not be educated or

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

. A well functional

healtcare

Correct your spelling

healthcare

is not only the source of a good sports team, but a

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

humanity. It should be given that the ones working with our health should earn more money.

Submitted by clara.m.schafer on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Depth of Supporting Examples

Where possible, include more varied examples and evidences to strengthen your arguments.

Cohesion and Coherence

Focus on the coherence of your paragraphs by connecting your ideas more clearly and using transition words effectively.

Introduction & Conclusion

Good introduction and conclusion structure, effectively framing your argument.

Task Response

You've successfully maintained focus on the topic, effectively arguing why certain professions should be paid more.

Logical Structure

Logical progression of ideas, with paragraphs clearly dedicated to distinct points in your argument.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Professionals such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree?

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many governments budget money for the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so heavily? Do you think this is an appropriate investment?

Zoos should be banned because it is cruel to keep wild animals in captivity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.