Professionals such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree?

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Should
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals

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such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
doctors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
nurses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get a higher salary than the ones working in the sports and entertainment branches? Of
course
Add a comma
course,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Of course. Consider adding a comma.

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both of these
type
Change to a plural noun
types

The singular countable noun type follows the quantifier both of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of occupations
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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important in different ways, but to
me
Add a comma
me,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase to me. Consider adding a comma.

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it is given. I do agree that the professions involved in the
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being

It seems that well being is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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of our
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be paid more. But some people may ask why
?
Change the punctuation
.

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

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Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
doctors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
nurses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are professions that can change
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

nurses
Change noun form
nurses'
nurse's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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work can be a matter of life or
dead
Replace the word
death

The word dead doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Our whole
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

depend
Change the verb form
depends

The plural verb depend does not appear to agree with the singular subject Our whole society. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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on that we have educated
residences
Replace the word
residents

The word residences doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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can help us when we get
indjured
Correct your spelling
injured

If you don’t want indjured to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. And with that said, the
affect
Correct your spelling
effect

The word affect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have on us is huge. The work they put in
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences

It seems that influence may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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all our
cilitizen
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen

If you don’t want cilitizen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and they deserve a high salary.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, without the work of
doctors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

nurses
Add a comma
nurses,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase without the work of doctors and nurses. Consider adding a comma.

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the
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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industry would not even be functional.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
athleates
Correct your spelling
athletes

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are often
hurted
Correct your spelling
hurt

It appears that the verb hurted is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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from
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
ocupation
Correct your spelling
occupation

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. If we would not have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed

It appears that well developed is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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hospitalities
Replace the word
hospitals

The word hospitalities doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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all the people in
brasches
Correct your spelling
branches

If you don’t want brasches to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
sports would never be able to recover from their
indjury
Correct your spelling
injury

If you don’t want indjury to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Our whole
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
depended
Replace the word
dependent

The word depended doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun healthcare in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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good working healthcare and it should be a självklarhet that they should earn more
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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others.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our
society
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
depended
Replace the word
dependent

The word depended doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
on
ocupations
Correct your spelling
occupations

If you don’t want ocupations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

show examples
nurses
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
doctors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Without
them
Add a comma
them,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Without them. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
we would not be educated or
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy

If you don’t want healty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. A well functional
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare

If you don’t want healtcare to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is not only the source of a good sports team, but a
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being

It appears that well being is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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humanity. It should be given that the ones working with our health should earn more money.

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Language Accuracy
Try to ensure consistent spelling and grammatical accuracy throughout your essay to enhance readability.
Depth of Supporting Examples
Where possible, include more varied examples and evidences to strengthen your arguments.
Cohesion and Coherence
Focus on the coherence of your paragraphs by connecting your ideas more clearly and using transition words effectively.
Introduction & Conclusion
Good introduction and conclusion structure, effectively framing your argument.
Task Response
You've successfully maintained focus on the topic, effectively arguing why certain professions should be paid more.
Logical Structure
Logical progression of ideas, with paragraphs clearly dedicated to distinct points in your argument.
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