Professionals such as doctors, nurses and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree?

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Should
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
such
as
doctors
,
nurses
and
teachers
get a higher salary than the ones working in the sports and entertainment branches? Of
course
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course,
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both of these
type
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types
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of occupations
is
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are
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important in different ways, but to
me
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me,
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it is given. I do agree that the professions involved in the
well being
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well-being
show examples
of our
society
should be paid more. But some people may ask why
?
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.
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Firstly
,
doctors
,
nurses
and
teachers
are professions that can change
lifes
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lives
show examples
.
For instance
,
doctors
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doctors'
doctor's
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and
nurses
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nurses'
nurse's
show examples
work can be a matter of life or
dead
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death
show examples
. Our whole
society
depend
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depends
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on that we have educated
residences
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residents
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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can help us when we get
indjured
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injured
. And with that said, the
affect
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effect
show examples
teachers
have on us is huge. The work they put in
influence
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influences
show examples
all our
cilitizen
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
and they deserve a high salary.
Secondly
, without the work of
doctors
and
nurses
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nurses,
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the
sport
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sports
show examples
industry would not even be functional.
For example
,
athleates
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athletes
are often
hurted
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hurt
show examples
from
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by
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their
ocupation
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occupation
. If we would not have
a
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apply
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well developed
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well-developed
show examples
hospitalities
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hospitals
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all the people in
brasches
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branches
such
as
,
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apply
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sports would never be able to recover from their
indjury
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injury
. Our whole
society
is
depended
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dependent
show examples
on
a
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apply
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good working healthcare and it should be a självklarhet that they should earn more
then
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than
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others.
To conclude
, our
society
is
depended
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dependent
show examples
on
ocupations
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occupations
such
as
,
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apply
show examples
nurses
,
doctors
and
teachers
. Without
them
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them,
show examples
we would not be educated or
healty
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healthy
. A well functional
healtcare
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healthcare
is not only the source of a good sports team, but a
well being
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well-being
show examples
humanity. It should be given that the ones working with our health should earn more money.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Language Accuracy
Try to ensure consistent spelling and grammatical accuracy throughout your essay to enhance readability.
Depth of Supporting Examples
Where possible, include more varied examples and evidences to strengthen your arguments.
Cohesion and Coherence
Focus on the coherence of your paragraphs by connecting your ideas more clearly and using transition words effectively.
Introduction & Conclusion
Good introduction and conclusion structure, effectively framing your argument.
Task Response
You've successfully maintained focus on the topic, effectively arguing why certain professions should be paid more.
Logical Structure
Logical progression of ideas, with paragraphs clearly dedicated to distinct points in your argument.
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