Most teenagers today own a smartphone. Provide your opinion to discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
In the contemporary era, many
adoloscents
have Correct your spelling
adolescents
a
Correct article usage
apply
smartphone
. There are many advantages and disadvantages of Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
this
trend and this
essay will examine further
some of the upsides and downsides associated with the development.
Primarily, parents
buy smartphones for their kids
to communicate actively with them while
they are away from home. To exemplify, if a school
student gets
late from his tuition class, he or she updates his Verb problem
is
parents
through phone or text message. It is a great way to keep parents
informed of the whereabouts of their kids
when they are naive at this
age and need guidance at every moment of their lives. This
is one of the reasons why the school
authorities cannot completely ban the usage of phones. Next,
the school
students generally say that they need these devices to take pictures of school
notice board or some notes that their teacher has written for them which they could refer Correct article usage
the school
whenever
in need. Change preposition
to whenever
For example
, if there is a notice on the school
notice board regarding any change in the schedule then
the students can have a photo of that and can save it for the
future reference.
Correct article usage
apply
On the contrary
, there are many situations when parents
and teachers realise that kids
are using these devices in a
wrong way. Correct article usage
the
For example
, kids
keep on
scrolling social media reels for hours and do not keep track of their time. Change preposition
apply
Hence
, the best time of their lives gets wasted. There are many distractions which could easily allure an individual towards these phones and can make them an addict. Besides
this
, sometimes the content available on the phone is not appropriate for teens to view. It can be illustrated by an example, there is no censor for adult movies in some countries and teens can easily access such
websites and watch these
when they are not the intended audience for Correct pronoun usage
them
such
videos. So, the ease of access to such
content has become a trouble for their guardians.
To conclude
, kids
can utilize this
technology in a positive way such
as taking notes or even to stay
in touch with Change the verb form
staying
parents
. Although
, a negative side is also
there like wasting time and watching inappropriate videos which should be avioded
. Correct your spelling
avoided
Thus
, teens have to understand both sides of the viewpoint then
should take
a decision Verb problem
making
on owning
a phone.Change preposition
to own
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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both advantages and disadvantages of teenagers owning smartphones, showing a good understanding of the task. Aim to further enhance your argument by exploring these points in more depth and possibly introducing a wider range of ideas for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay effectively, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, consider linking your ideas more explicitly within and between paragraphs using a wider range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Your main points are well supported by examples, which strengthens your argument. To push your score higher, you might consider providing more detailed explanations or considering counter-arguments to add depth to your analysis.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is crucial for a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
The examples you've used, such as parents being informed about their children's whereabouts and the misuse of smartphones by teens, are relevant and effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your arguments and reflecting on the implications of teenage smartphone ownership.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?