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Band 2.5

Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?

#people #struggle #technology #smartphone #computers
Nowadays
the
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apply
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technology
 is increasing very fast. The big companies are creating and developing devices in
short
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a short
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times
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time
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 and it is not good for society. Smartphones and computers are most used and right now they have a lot of tools
to
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for
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 communicating and chatting. So, it is not common
that
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for
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people
using
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to use
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 those all tools. The advances
of
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in
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technology
 in some cases don't
working
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work
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 well. The matter more
knew
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known
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 is with old
people
 where they can't use modern devices.
For example
,
in
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with
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cellphones
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cell phones
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the
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veterans can't see
good
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well
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 or touch the screen with their fingers.
Also
, the
artifacts
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artefacts
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 are very small and it is complicated to manage.
Therefore
, there are disadvantages
with
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to
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 modern
technology
. I am thinking
in
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of
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 some possible solutions.
First,
if the device is for older
people
, it needs to be a medium or large size.
Second,
the features should be basic
such
 as calling and messaging because they only
using
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use
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 those.
Finally
, in some ways is more easy using buttons than
touching
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touch
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 the screen, so it
more
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is more
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 familiar for
people
 when
make
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making
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callings
Replace the word
calls
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. In brief, if possible,
the
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corporations could
keeping
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keep
be keeping
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 develop devices.
However
, they might consider creating or preserving
artifacts
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artefacts
show examples
 with simple functions for
people
 that have problems with modern
technology
.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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Introduction
Consider starting your essay with a clearer introduction that directly addresses the question asked, including the causes of the struggle with modern technology by the elderly, and outline your proposed solutions.
Argument Development
Try to develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations and specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will help in achieving a higher task response score.
Paragraph Structure
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea. Consider using paragraph headings or a more distinct separation to improve readability and cohesion.
Coherence
Be mindful of your essay's coherence. Ensure there's a logical flow from one idea to the next and use transitional phrases to help link your points.
Task Alignment
Consider addressing the causes of the struggle with modern technology among the elderly more specifically, as requested by the task. Providing more detailed causes would improve your task achievement score.
Topic Relevance
You've identified a significant societal issue (the struggle of older people with technology) and proposed thoughtful solutions.
Insightfulness
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the need for technology to be accessible to all ages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital divide
  • cognitive function
  • technological advancement
  • user-friendly
  • senior learners
  • formative years
  • navigation
  • evolution
  • educational resources
  • tailored programs
  • intergenerational
  • accessibility features
  • overwhelming
  • interface
  • usability
  • obstacles
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