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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You live on the fourth floor of a five-storey building which is not equipped with an elevator (lift). Write a letter to your neighbors and in your letter • introduce yourself • say what the problem is • ask the neighbors to agree on the installation of an elevator.

#floor #five-storey #elevator #neighbors #installation
Dear Neighbors, I hope you are well.I am your
neighbor
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neighbour
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.
Also
, I have been living here for 2 years and it is very
challenge
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challenging
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.
By cause
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Cause
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of
Change preposition
apply
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I live in 24
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 on the 4 floors and almost every day I am late for my
favorite
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favourite
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 job
due to
Change preposition
apply
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there
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 no elevator available. So, I am writing to you regarding the installation of a new elevator in our flat. Because it is of the essence and useful for many people.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 the elevator is necessary and convenient for the health of the elderly ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 safety of small children.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 it increases the property value of the flat
together with
 improves the quality of life. I hope you accept my request and
do
Verb problem
apply
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solve
this
 issue together. I will be so glad to
think
Verb problem
give
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 my opinion,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 for our facilities and comfort. Sorry to bother you,
your
Correct word choice
but your
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 help will be greatly appreciated. I look forward to receiving your response. Sincerely yours, Xushimova Gulsanam
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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structure
Consider using a more formal structure and clear paragraphs to organize your points more effectively. This will help in enhancing the logical flow of your letter.
vocabulary
Use a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to improve the overall formality and effectiveness of your communication.
content
Adding more specific details about how the elevator installation could benefit all residents might strengthen your argument.
introduction
You clearly introduced yourself and explained the problem, which is good for task achievement.
conclusion
Your call to action, asking neighbors to agree on the installation of an elevator, was well positioned at the end of the letter, demonstrating good task completion.
content
Your empathy and consideration for the elderly and children as benefits of the elevator install are persuasive and thoughtful.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Introduce, rapport, difficulties, transport, groceries, furniture, accessibility, elderly, disabilities, benefits, installation, accessibility, property value, organizing, logistics, community, quality of life, support, impact, contribute, gauge interest
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