You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #countries #people #music #concerts

Nowadays, classical

music

is gradually fading away, and people usually associate it with boredom and old-fashion.

However

, In my point of view, it is important to encourage young people to

involve

Wrong verb form

be involved

show examples

in these topics, and my opinion will be analyzed by discussing the importance of classical

music

. Younger generations are constantly pursuing

excitements

Fix the agreement mistake

excitement

show examples

and

stimulations

Fix the agreement mistake

stimulation

show examples

today,

while

classical

music

is mainly about delicate emotions and often requires more

patients

Fix the agreement mistake

patience

show examples

to understand. The fast pace of the present world and the slow pace of the

music

forms

Correct subject-verb agreement

form

show examples

an ironic comparison. It is already hard to ask for one to slow down,

not to mention

to participate in something

that is

usually thought

Change preposition

of as

show examples

the products from the

last

century.

However

, the importance and the possible changes that

this

music

can bring us

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

upon what we can

imagin

Correct your spelling

imagine

imagin'

First,

the historical meanings behind these musical treasures are valuable. It is necessary for us to know our roots. Past stories and old experiences can allow us to be humble and full of gratitude.

Second,

artistic characteristics

Change the verb form

are

show examples

often overlooked, yet it is important to train one with both

rational

Correct article usage

a rational

show examples

and emotional mindset. Cultivating our artistic side can allow us to present

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

with a more

gental

Correct your spelling

gentle

genital

and soft attitude towards the

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

To sum up

, I agree with the point of letting young people learn more about classical

music

. Though one can easily find it tedious,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the

imporatance

Correct your spelling

importance

of knowing our own roots and developing our sensibility cannot be emphasized more. it is strongly suggested to attend more classical

music

concerts and

listean

Correct your spelling

listen

listening

to classical

music

Submitted by lil40629890 on Wed Apr 24 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to incorporate more specific examples or data to support your points about the benefits of classical music and its cultural importance. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use more linking phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Moreover' to connect your ideas more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your writing is clear and professional. For example, 'patients' should be 'patience', 'imagin' should be 'imagine', and 'listean' should be 'listen'.

Positive Features

Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your stance on the importance of encouraging young people to engage with classical music.

Positive Features

You have provided a well-structured argument, dividing the essay into clear paragraphs, each dealing with different facets of the issue.

Positive Features

You've successfully conveyed a sense of passion and importance regarding classical music and its relevance, which makes your essay compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children.Do you think advantages outweight disadvantages.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house of building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. What are the reasons for parents doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?

Some people believe that group learning is more beneficial and effective as compared to learning alone. I strongly agree with this view.

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities.