You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, classical
music
is gradually fading away, and people usually associate it with boredom and old-fashion. However
, In my point of view, it is important to encourage young people to involve
in these topics, and my opinion will be analyzed by discussing the importance of classical Wrong verb form
be involved
music
.
Younger generations are constantly pursuing excitements
and Fix the agreement mistake
excitement
stimulations
today, Fix the agreement mistake
stimulation
while
classical music
is mainly about delicate emotions and often requires more patients
to understand. The fast pace of the present world and the slow pace of the Fix the agreement mistake
patience
music
forms
an ironic comparison. It is already hard to ask for one to slow down, Correct subject-verb agreement
form
not to mention
to participate in something that is
usually thought as
the products from the Change preposition
of as
last
century.
However
, the importance and the possible changes that this
music
can bring us is
upon what we can Correct subject-verb agreement
are
imagin
. Correct your spelling
imagine
imagin'
First,
the historical meanings behind these musical treasures are valuable. It is necessary for us to know our roots. Past stories and old experiences can allow us to be humble and full of gratitude. Second,
artistic characteristics is
often overlooked, yet it is important to train one with both Change the verb form
are
rational
and emotional mindset. Cultivating our artistic side can allow us to present Correct article usage
a rational
ourself
with a more Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
gental
and soft attitude towards the Correct your spelling
gentle
genital
other
.
Fix the agreement mistake
others
To sum up
, I agree with the point of letting young people learn more about classical music
. Though one can easily find it tedious, yet
the Correct word choice
apply
imporatance
of knowing our own roots and developing our sensibility cannot be emphasized more. it is strongly suggested to attend more classical Correct your spelling
importance
music
concerts and listean
to classical Correct your spelling
listen
listening
music
.Submitted by lil40629890 on
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Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples or data to support your points about the benefits of classical music and its cultural importance. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Use more linking phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'Moreover' to connect your ideas more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to ensure your writing is clear and professional. For example, 'patients' should be 'patience', 'imagin' should be 'imagine', and 'listean' should be 'listen'.
Positive Features
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your stance on the importance of encouraging young people to engage with classical music.
Positive Features
You have provided a well-structured argument, dividing the essay into clear paragraphs, each dealing with different facets of the issue.
Positive Features
You've successfully conveyed a sense of passion and importance regarding classical music and its relevance, which makes your essay compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.