IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their creativity. Some people think that artists should have total freedom to express any thoughts and ideas.

#artists #amount #freedom #creativity #people #thoughts
It is true that in
this
 day and age, opinion is divided over whether creators ought to have more privilege to show their plans and thoughts. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will look at both sides of
this
 debate
as well as
 offer my own point of view. Turning first of all to the arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
this
 idea, it goes without saying that giving more freedom to the creators could create more variety than what the artists have now. At the same time, as more diversity is recognized, the forum for speaking and discussion or expression might allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 develop. As far as the other side of
this
 debate is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that providing excessive liberty may lead to more disdain for the opinions of others.
For example
, the activists from “Just Stop Oil”
thrown
Wrong verb form
threw
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 tomato soup at Van Goph’s sunflower. Their political actions have
discolored
Change the spelling
discoloured
show examples
 a great work of art. It may
also
 be worth noting that from the research results from
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
, the scientists say that
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a wide range of
interpretation
Fix the agreement mistake
interpretations
show examples
 narrows a person's ability to think. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above, it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of
this
 debate.
However
, I am of the opinion that, in the grand scheme of things, unbridled liberty might lead to disrespect for others and the destruction of their work. To develop their creativity freedom is needed
although
 freedom should be within the rules.
Submitted by yusei.nakano.0516 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear stance is presented in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more coherently with a range of linking words.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider developing your points further with more detailed examples or explanations to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay's arguments.
Task Achievement
Good use of an example to support your argument.
Task Achievement
Successfully discusses both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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