IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
Driving carefully is a topic of much
thuoght
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thought
an
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and
show examples
 discussion. much as some people, like me,
belive
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believe
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 that teaching
norms
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the norms
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 of driving to
drivers
 is
best
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the best
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 way to increase driving safety on the
road
, other people take the
viwe
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view
 that
strickt
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strict
 punishment is
better
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a better
the better
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 idea.
on the other hand
,
strickt
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strict
punishements
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punishments
punishment
decrese
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decrease
 the
amount
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number
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 of accidents.
fistrly
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Firstly
,
punishemnts
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punishments
punishment
for
drivings
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driving
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is included
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include
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 money,so poor people
do not
Verb problem
cannot
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afforde
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afford
 it,
as a
result
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result,
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 they have no choice but to follow
rulls
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rules
, leading to
safty
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safe
 driving.
on the other hand
, taking
cources
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courses
 by
drivers
 can improve their ability to drive
safe
Change the word
safely
show examples
. in fact, by taking
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 they can gain knowledge about how they deal with traffic congestion or other problems on the
road
. another reason is that some of the accidents that take place
is
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are
show examples
 because of
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of
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information in
information
informationin
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information
 driving, so
drivers
 can
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increase
increse
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increase their
thier
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their
 knowledge about driving and the norm of
the
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apply
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driving on the
road
that
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apply
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can lead
o
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to
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 safety in conclusion, from my point of
viwe
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view
,
drivers
 by learning some
couses
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courses
causes
 about driving
bases
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on reqular can
aquire knowledage
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acquire knowledge
 of
safty
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safe
 driving, it can be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 idea that can
leat
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lead
show examples
 to safiness on the
road
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Structure & Connectivity
Try to structure your essay more clearly by having distinct paragraphs for introduction, each argument, and conclusion. Use a range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Grammar & Spelling
Proofread your essay to correct grammar and spelling errors, which can distract from the argument you are making. This will also help in making your essay more coherent.
Supporting Examples
Provide clear examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay by illustrating your points more effectively.
Introduction & Conclusion
Work on elaborating your introduction and conclusion with clearer statements that summarize your arguments and personal stance more distinctly.
Balanced Argumentation
You discussed both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced view.
Clear Standpoint
You have a clear standpoint which is evident throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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