In theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, many businesses emphasize in their advertisements that their goods are new in some aspects. There are several reasons why they do
this
and I take the view that doing
this
is a positive improvement which I will consider now.
To begin
with, winning in the competitive market is one
reasons
Change to a singular noun
reason
show examples
why businesses emphasize
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new
features
of
products
.
In other words
, businesses by
highlighiting
Correct your spelling
highlighting
the new
features
of their goods have an opportunity to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
market share in tough competition;
for instance
, Afarinesh, the first IELTS
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
in Iran ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has attracted many students compared to other rivals, which means
due to
being first
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, it can catch student’s attention. One of the obvious advantages of
this
development is that it increases our quality of life. In fact, when new
features
of goods are highlighted by some companies, other rivals tend to add new and important elements
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
their offering, which can lead to the production of high-quality
products
on a global scale, so these
products
with new
features
increase the quality of living;
for example
, every year new version of Apple Smartphone is introduced, which motivates other companies,
such
as Samsung, to launch smartphones with innovative
features
that have a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
camera or do not need to charger. In conclusion, from my point of view, catching the
costumer’s
Correct your spelling
customer’s
show examples
attention is one the main reasons why companies bold new
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
of their
products
.
This
is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development because not only can motivate other rivals but
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
easier.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your essay directly answers all parts of the question. You've done well in expressing your views, but remember that both sides of the argument should be equally considered if the question asks for this.
coherence and cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to help with this.
task response
Incorporating a broader array of specific examples could strengthen your arguments. While you have provided some, adding more detailed examples or evidence could enrich your essay further.
structure
You've structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization aids the reader's understanding.
content
Your positive argument about the benefits of companies advertising new features is compelling and well articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Competition
  • Consumer demand
  • Novelty
  • Innovation
  • Progress
  • Differentiation
  • Attract
  • Generate
  • Interest
  • Positive aspect
  • Negative aspect
  • Emphasize
  • Balancing
  • Quality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: