It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Risks
are major problems in
life
.
Such
as
risk
at work or in the private part of
life
for each
person
.in
this
essay, I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
risk
in
life
. What happens if humans
don’t
take
risks
?
Firstly
,
overall
in history, every time, humans invited
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
things or discovered new things in nature.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decided to take
risks
because stable people can’t do
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
is
motivation
Replace the word
motivated
show examples
and
acticity
Correct your spelling
activity
who
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
show examples
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
take
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
and get perfect results.
secondly
,in
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
world ,each
person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
take a
risk
for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
act,
for example
when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
decide to select
subject
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
they take
risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
so
this
subject
flew
Wrong verb form
flies
show examples
in my
life
.
in addition
, you can think about a known
person
for instance
a
Change the article
an
show examples
engineer or
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
Steve Jubs, he started work when he left university maybe he
didn’t
Verb problem
wouldn’t
show examples
start
business
Add an article
a business
show examples
if
staied
Correct your spelling
stated
stayed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
his university,or since every
person
should get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
married they must join a
person
and they have to take a
risk
for select their wife or husband it’s a simple for take a
risk
in personal lives. Should we take a
risk
every time or every even?
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
on the other hand
,
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
risks
have problems
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
when we
don’t
think enough about
my
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
problems and take a
risk
,
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
think you are a coach and your team is winning a game you
don’t
take a
risk
and change best player , it’s
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
simple for professional lives ,plus in personal lives you
don’t
arguee
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
with people sit in your car
while
you driving
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
cash to
another cars
Replace the adjective
another car
other cars
show examples
. Or when you win a lot of money from
bank
Add an article
the bank
show examples
you
don’t
take a
risk
and
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
your money in
latary
Correct your spelling
later
literary
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, people must pay attention
for take
Change preposition
to taking
show examples
a
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
need to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
get new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
if it’s important, but when we
don’t
need to take a
risk
, we must keep
my
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
position.
Submitted by poriaprashidi on

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structure
To improve your score, focus on structuring your essay more logically with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This helps in making your argument more coherent and easy to follow.
introduction & conclusion
Incorporate an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarises your main points. This will make your essay more cohesive.
supporting examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more persuasive and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
idea clarity
Clarify your ideas and ensure that they are presented comprehensively. This can be achieved by planning your essay before writing and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task response
You showed an understanding of the importance of risk-taking in both professional and personal aspects of life, which directly addresses the essay prompt.
balanced argument
You made an effort to present both sides of the argument, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks. This is good for a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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