It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Risks
are major problems in life
. Such
as risk
at work or in the private part of life
for each person
.in this
essay, I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of risk
in life
.
What happens if humans don’t
take risks
? Firstly
,overall
in history, every time, humans invited some
things or discovered new things in nature.Correct quantifier usage
apply
they
Capitalize word
They
have
decided to take Unnecessary verb
apply
risks
because stable people can’t do any thing
, Correct your spelling
anything
person
is Add an article
a person
the person
motivation
and Replace the word
motivated
acticity
who Correct your spelling
activity
Correct subject-verb agreement
likes
like
take Add the particle
like to
Add an article
a risk
the risk
risk
and get perfect results.Fix the agreement mistake
risks
secondly
,in whole
world ,each Change the article
the whole
person
do
take a Change the verb form
does
risk
for a
act,Change the article
an
for example
when student
decide to select Fix the agreement mistake
students
subject
they take Correct article usage
a subject
risk
so Add an article
the risk
a risk
this
subject flew
in my Wrong verb form
flies
life
.in addition
, you can think about a known person
for instance
a
engineer or Change the article
an
business man
Steve Jubs, he started work when he left university maybe he Correct your spelling
businessman
didn’t
start Verb problem
wouldn’t
business
if Add an article
a business
staied
Correct your spelling
stated
stayed
in
his university,or since every Change preposition
at
person
should get a
married they must join a Correct article usage
apply
person
and they have to take a risk
for select their wife or husband it’s a simple for take a risk
in personal lives.
Should we take a risk
every time or every even?,
Change the punctuation
apply
on the other hand
,some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
risks
have problems specially
when we Replace the word
especially
don’t
think enough about my
problems and take a Correct pronoun usage
our
risk
,you
think you are a coach and your team is winning a game you Correct pronoun usage
we
don’t
take a risk
and change best player , it’s a
simple for professional lives ,plus in personal lives you Change the article
apply
don’t
arguee
with people sit in your car Correct your spelling
argue
agree
while
you driving may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
you
cash to Change the pronoun
your
another cars
. Or when you win a lot of money from Replace the adjective
another car
other cars
bank
you Add an article
the bank
don’t
take a risk
and loss
your money in Replace the word
lose
latary
.
In Correct your spelling
later
literary
conclution
, people must pay attention Correct your spelling
conclusion
for take
a Change preposition
to taking
risk
and Fix the agreement mistake
risks
some times
need to take Correct your spelling
sometimes
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
for
get new Change preposition
to
thing
if it’s important, but when we Fix the agreement mistake
things
don’t
need to take a risk
, we must keep my
position.Correct pronoun usage
our
Submitted by poriaprashidi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
To improve your score, focus on structuring your essay more logically with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This helps in making your argument more coherent and easy to follow.
introduction & conclusion
Incorporate an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarises your main points. This will make your essay more cohesive.
supporting examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more persuasive and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
idea clarity
Clarify your ideas and ensure that they are presented comprehensively. This can be achieved by planning your essay before writing and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task response
You showed an understanding of the importance of risk-taking in both professional and personal aspects of life, which directly addresses the essay prompt.
balanced argument
You made an effort to present both sides of the argument, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks. This is good for a balanced argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.