It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Risks
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are major problems in
life
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.
Such
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as
risk
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at work or in the private part of
life
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for each
person
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.in
this
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essay, I discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
risk
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in
life
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. What happens if humans
don’t
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take
risks
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?
Firstly
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,
overall
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in history, every time, humans invited
some
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apply
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things or discovered new things in nature.
they
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They
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decided to take
risks
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because stable people can’t do
any thing
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anything
show examples
,
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person
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a person
the person
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is
motivation
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motivated
show examples
and
acticity
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activity
who
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likes
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like
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like to
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take
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Add an article
a risk
the risk
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risk
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risks
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and get perfect results.
secondly
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,in
whole
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the whole
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world ,each
person
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do
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does
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take a
risk
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for
a
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an
show examples
act,
for example
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when
student
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students
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decide to select
subject
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a subject
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they take
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risk
Add an article
the risk
a risk
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so
this
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subject
flew
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flies
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in my
life
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.
in addition
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, you can think about a known
person
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for instance
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a
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an
show examples
engineer or
business man
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businessman
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Steve Jubs, he started work when he left university maybe he
didn’t
Verb problem
wouldn’t
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start
business
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a business
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if
staied
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stated
stayed
in
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at
show examples
his university,or since every
person
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should get
a
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apply
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married they must join a
person
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and they have to take a
risk
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for select their wife or husband it’s a simple for take a
risk
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in personal lives. Should we take a
risk
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every time or every even?
,
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apply
show examples
on the other hand
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,
some times
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sometimes
show examples
risks
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have problems
specially
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especially
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when we
don’t
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think enough about
my
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our
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problems and take a
risk
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,
you
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we
show examples
think you are a coach and your team is winning a game you
don’t
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take a
risk
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and change best player , it’s
a
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apply
show examples
simple for professional lives ,plus in personal lives you
don’t
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arguee
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
with people sit in your car
while
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you driving
may be
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maybe
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you
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your
show examples
cash to
another cars
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another car
other cars
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. Or when you win a lot of money from
bank
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the bank
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you
don’t
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take a
risk
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and
loss
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lose
show examples
your money in
latary
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later
literary
. In
conclution
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conclusion
, people must pay attention
for take
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to taking
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a
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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and
some times
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sometimes
show examples
need to take
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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get new
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
if it’s important, but when we
don’t
Use synonyms
need to take a
risk
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, we must keep
my
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
position.
Submitted by poriaprashidi on

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structure
To improve your score, focus on structuring your essay more logically with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This helps in making your argument more coherent and easy to follow.
introduction & conclusion
Incorporate an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarises your main points. This will make your essay more cohesive.
supporting examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more persuasive and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
idea clarity
Clarify your ideas and ensure that they are presented comprehensively. This can be achieved by planning your essay before writing and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task response
You showed an understanding of the importance of risk-taking in both professional and personal aspects of life, which directly addresses the essay prompt.
balanced argument
You made an effort to present both sides of the argument, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks. This is good for a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: