Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?
There is a belief that social media brought many disadvantages to individuals,
as well as
, to the whole society. In Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
I will elaborate on why I strongly believe that those platforms influence Add a comma
essay,
on
us negatively.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, digital marketing is based on AI algorithms. Namely, Facebook Linking Words
Ads
, Google Use synonyms
Ads
, Instagram Use synonyms
Ads
and LinkedIn Use synonyms
Ads
follow every single step of users. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, Linking Words
people
struggle to protect data. Currently, developers want us to log in before taking any advantage of their website. Looking back in history, there were some unforeseen events of stealing information from huge technological companies Use synonyms
such
as Facebook. It brings concerns Linking Words
of
whether those companies do not put us in danger.
Change preposition
about
Moreover
, the current society spends most of their spare time scrolling the internet. Young Linking Words
people
cannot imagine their Use synonyms
lifes
without a phone. Many get addicted and struggle with maintaining Correct your spelling
lives
relations
in real life. Replace the word
relationships
While
growing up in Linking Words
digitalised
world, young Correct article usage
a digitalised
people
become too individualistic. Use synonyms
For example
, they are not able to work effectively in a team. It causes downturns for them and their colleagues, as well. Linking Words
Futhermore
, they feel worse than peers who are better skilled in social aspects. The feeling of inferiority affects the lack of confidence.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
To sum up
, there are websites that significantly Linking Words
impacted
both individuals and communities. They fail to protect Wrong verb form
impact
people
and impact their private Use synonyms
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, they cause difficulties for humans to find Linking Words
themselfs
in a work environment. Correct your spelling
themselves
Therefore
, I think they Linking Words
bring
a tremendously negative impact Verb problem
have
to
peoples' real Change preposition
on
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by Aga
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and develops it thoroughly. Using a wider range of conjunctions and transitional phrases can help improve clarity and flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to enrich your essay with more specific examples and details to support your arguments. While general statements are good, adding precise instances or statistics can enhance the strength of your points.
General
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can distract from the overall quality of your writing. Regular practice and review can help in minimizing these errors.
Structure
You have presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, development, and conclusion. This structure is fundamental for a coherent and cohesive text.
Task Response
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt, providing a relevant discussion on the impacts of social media on individuals and society. This demonstrates good task achievement.
Organization
You have effectively used paragraphs to organize your ideas, which is important for the reader's understanding and the overall clarity of your essay.