Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?
There is a belief that social media brought many disadvantages to individuals,
as well as
, to the whole society. In this
essay
I will elaborate on why I strongly believe that those platforms influence Add a comma
essay,
on
us negatively.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, digital marketing is based on AI algorithms. Namely, Facebook Ads
, Google Ads
, Instagram Ads
and LinkedIn Ads
follow every single step of users. As a consequence
, people
struggle to protect data. Currently, developers want us to log in before taking any advantage of their website. Looking back in history, there were some unforeseen events of stealing information from huge technological companies such
as Facebook. It brings concerns of
whether those companies do not put us in danger.
Change preposition
about
Moreover
, the current society spends most of their spare time scrolling the internet. Young people
cannot imagine their lifes
without a phone. Many get addicted and struggle with maintaining Correct your spelling
lives
relations
in real life. Replace the word
relationships
While
growing up in digitalised
world, young Correct article usage
a digitalised
people
become too individualistic. For example
, they are not able to work effectively in a team. It causes downturns for them and their colleagues, as well. Futhermore
, they feel worse than peers who are better skilled in social aspects. The feeling of inferiority affects the lack of confidence.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
To sum up
, there are websites that significantly impacted
both individuals and communities. They fail to protect Wrong verb form
impact
people
and impact their private life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, they cause difficulties for humans to find themselfs
in a work environment. Correct your spelling
themselves
Therefore
, I think they bring
a tremendously negative impact Verb problem
have
to
peoples' real Change preposition
on
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by Aga
on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and develops it thoroughly. Using a wider range of conjunctions and transitional phrases can help improve clarity and flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to enrich your essay with more specific examples and details to support your arguments. While general statements are good, adding precise instances or statistics can enhance the strength of your points.
General
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can distract from the overall quality of your writing. Regular practice and review can help in minimizing these errors.
Structure
You have presented a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, development, and conclusion. This structure is fundamental for a coherent and cohesive text.
Task Response
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt, providing a relevant discussion on the impacts of social media on individuals and society. This demonstrates good task achievement.
Organization
You have effectively used paragraphs to organize your ideas, which is important for the reader's understanding and the overall clarity of your essay.