some people say in order to prevent illness and diseases , governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. to what extent do you agree and disagree?
the majority of
peole
said that people have to prevent sickness and canker to focus on the Earth , Correct your spelling
people
the
authority must reduce housing matter and dirtying . I agree with Correct word choice
and the
this
statement and my reason is in the following essay.
first of all, the atmosphere has a big effect on people's health. nowsaday
, it Correct your spelling
Nowadays
will be
polluted and more Wrong verb form
is
social
Replace the word
society
has
diseases of the respiratory tract. many companies and vehicles exhaust the Correct subject-verb agreement
have
air
to
the climate so that many countries around the world have Change preposition
into
air polluted
Add a hyphen
air-polluted
environment
. Fix the agreement mistake
environments
for
example, the news are talk about Capitalize word
For
more
students and Rephrase
how more
social
have Replace the word
society
negative
effect on their Add an article
a negative
healthy
because Replace the word
health
the
Correct article usage
apply
air
pollution is rising more and more
higher. the number of patients Fix the agreement mistake
apply
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
diseases
of the respiratory very high so Correct word choice
respiratory diseases
that
the hospital can not solve all those problems.
Correct word choice
apply
secondly
, Correct article usage
the publics
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
illness
they need to go to the hospital and take Replace the word
ill
somes
medicine. but the countries do not have more hospitals to do Correct your spelling
some
this
work . so that the leadership focus on this
problems to encourage Correct determiner usage
these
social
to protect the atmosphere.the council in the city must reduce the Replace the word
society
air
of the vehicles and the manufactures
and they encourage people to use public Correct your spelling
manufacturers
transports
. for a long time , the earth can be fresh Fix the agreement mistake
transport
air
and peaceful. for instances
, Fix the agreement mistake
instance
in
many cities in Change preposition
apply
vietnam
encourage Change the capitalization
Vietnam
Correct article usage
the publics
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
use
buses and taxis to reduce the exhaust the vehicles and they take Fix the infinitive
to use
peole
to protect the environment in many schools and places.
in conclusion, Correct your spelling
people
Correct article usage
the publics
publics
should be the housing matters and Fix the agreement mistake
public
environmental
climate . they live Correct article usage
the environmental
in
the earth they must Change preposition
on
possibity
with the atmosphere. Correct your spelling
possibility
therefore
, living in the fresh air
peole
can not be Correct your spelling
people
stress
and have badly sickness.Wrong verb form
stressed
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Introduction
Include a clear introduction that outlines your main points. Your introduction should set the stage for the rest of the essay.
Paragraph Structure
Use paragraphs to separate your ideas clearly. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences.
Linking Words
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words ('However', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast') to help your essay flow better.
Examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your argument stronger.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly. It should provide a clear end to your discussion without introducing new ideas.
Addressing Prompt
You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing the importance of addressing environmental pollution and housing issues for preventing illness.
Understanding of Topic
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant arguments concerning the impact of pollution and housing on health.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.