Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
thta
Correct your spelling
that
higher priorities should
concerntarte
Correct your spelling
concentrate
more on cutting environmental pollution and
households
Change the noun form
household
show examples
issues to avoid illness and outbreak diseases.
This
writer totally agrees with
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and will lay out the reasons below. First things
first,
some environmental
problems
are always related to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, especially pollution. Nowadays, humans are more independent with their own inventions and
humanly
Change the word
human
show examples
breakthroughs
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
made them become advanced.
However
, people are taking more
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
forget
Correct word choice
and forget
show examples
to handle
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
, and it leads to some consequences that
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
hard to deal
in
Change preposition
with in
show examples
the long run.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
directly
Change the adverb
direct
show examples
release
Wrong verb form
releasing
show examples
contaminats
Correct your spelling
contaminants
contaminates
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
will
also
cause a lot of repercussions to themselves.
Therefore
, governments should not turn a blind eye
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
problems
and point out some temporary and long-term methods.
For instance
, they can organise a campaign or crusade to
advocacy
Replace the word
advocate
show examples
citizens
Change preposition
for citizens
show examples
in order to protect their life
environment
by
plant
Wrong verb form
planting
show examples
more trees,
collect
Wrong verb form
collecting
show examples
floating garbage
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tackle
Wrong verb form
tackling
show examples
housing
problems
such
as hygiene in each
households
Change to a singular noun
household
show examples
and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
to protect
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
environment
.
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should invest in modern technology to help them work out some backlog
problems
that they should tackle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Using technology
in protecting
Change preposition
to protect
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
should
also
courage
Add a missing verb
be courage
show examples
because it has a lot of benefits.
Moreover
, higher priorities should attract
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, as it could be one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
make
environment
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
worse. Nowadays, people are littering and factories are
release
Wrong verb form
releasing
show examples
more contaminated fumes into
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
show examples
, and it harms
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
and people
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
live
Wrong verb form
living
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around there,
therefore
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should fine them to prevent
those phenomenon
Change the determiner
that phenomenon
those phenomena
show examples
and protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
,
while
addressing environmental and housing issues is crucial, a holistic strategy that encompasses various factors is essential for effective disease prevention.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving your grammar and spelling to make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow. Small errors can distract from your message.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by explaining how they directly support your main points. More detailed examples can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You articulated a clear stance and maintained it throughout the essay, aligning with the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay reflects good logical structure by introducing the topic, presenting arguments, and offering a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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