prisons are an expensive way of making bad people worse to what extent do you agree or disagree
All around the world,
people
who break the the
law are sentenced to be imprisoned Remove the redundancy
apply
as a consequence
of their actions. A notable number of people
claim that putting offenders in prison is not cost effective
at all. They claim that imprisonment may Add a hyphen
cost-effective
aggrevate
bad behaviours and impose high costs on governments. Correct your spelling
aggravate
aggregate
This
essay discusses both ideas supporting and opposing this
status.
To begin
with, it is widely believed that governments spend millions of dollars on building prisons
, hiring security guides, and providing the
prisoners with free food, water, and electricity. At the same time, prisoners have to spend their whole time for several years with other offenders who might have a wide range Correct article usage
apply
personality
disorders. If Change preposition
of personality
one
prisoner has a weak personality, might ends
up Change the verb form
end
adapting
those misbehaviours. Correct your spelling
adopting
For instance
, one
person has been imprisoned following a pickpocketing, but for a definite time have
to live with inmates who are convicted because of violence. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Therefore
, as a result
of avoiding being bullied by others
Add a comma
others,
one
has to display aggression as well.
On the other hand
, other people
declare that prisons
are a necessity in a
society. Correct article usage
apply
one
reason is the jail's deterrance
effect. There might be some Correct your spelling
deterrence
deterrent
people
who have inner intentions to break the law, however
the fear of being caught and punished prevents them from doing so. Add a comma
however,
In addition
, in most prisons
around the world rehablitation
programmes are being held. Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
For example
, detainees are taught how to play music or do carpentry. Activities chosen by these programmes are the ones that can cherish one
's soul and help them to face and handle their inner turmoils and angers
. It is assumed that these measures can reduce the recidivism rate.
In summary, Change the wording
anger
fits of anger
waves of anger
Although
building and maintaining prisons
enforces a great burden to
a country's Change preposition
on
economics
, I am inclined to think that their presence is paramount to Replace the word
economy
control
the crime rate in a society and has more benefits than disadvantages.Wrong verb form
controlling
Submitted by Sh.ferdowsian94 on
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Clarity
Provide a clearer introductory statement to directly address the prompt's question more explicitly.
Detail
Enhance the development of paragraphs with more specific examples to support your arguments.
Vocabulary
Consider a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision and variability.
Grammar
Review your essay for minor grammatical errors and aim to use a variety of sentence structures.
Logic
Ensure a stronger connection between your supporting examples and the main point they are meant to illustrate.
Structure
Well-structured essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence
Good use of connecting words to guide the reader through the essay smoothly.
Conclusion
Effective conclusion summarizing the main points and stating your opinion clearly.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?