In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Not very long ago, big
malls
and shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are taking
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
over small
stores
due to
less consumer flow. I think
this
is a positive development because large
malls
offers
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offer
show examples
different brands in one place which reduces people's time and effort.
Large
Correct article usage
A large
show examples
shopping complex consists of different
stores
which
offers
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offer
show examples
a wide range to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
customers. Often, people love to purchase from different brands, since they can find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in one spot
there by
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thereby
show examples
saving time. Another benefit of visiting these shopping plazas is they provide ample parking which is another convenience for the people.
For instance
, Yorkdale
mall
Capitalize word
Mall
show examples
is so enormous that it consists of
huge
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a huge
the huge
show examples
number of brands and
a
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apply
show examples
spacious parking for
it's
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its
show examples
customers. First of all, the biggest impact of these
malls
can be noticed as the small-scale
stores
are getting closed. As consumers have to visit various shops for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
needs.
On the other hand
, since the large
stores
offers
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offer
show examples
more parking, it often tends to traffic congestion which in turn leads to environmental pollution.
Lastly
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these shopping
centers
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centres
show examples
offers
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offer
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different hubs
such
as entertainment,
food
Correct word choice
and food
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court
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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which attract thieves making it a security concern. As it is very easy for them in these large gatherings.
For example
, every year there is an increase in the crime rate at shopping plazas
according to
recent news reports.
To conclude
, even
tough
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
there are some disadvantages of shopping
malls
, local customers still prefer to visit them
instead
of local shops as they provide more convenience.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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Introduction
Provide a clear thesis statement to present your position more directly.
Body Paragraphs
Expand on your examples with more detail to demonstrate how they support your points.
Task Response
Work on presenting a more balanced view by equally discussing the positive and negative aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a range of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs for improved cohesion.
Logical Structure
You've effectively organized your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Response
Good job in presenting both sides of the argument, even if one side is favored.
Supported Main Points
Your essay adequately covers the topic and provides relevant examples, enhancing your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • specialized products
  • homogenized
  • local economy
  • circulating
  • variety
  • convenient
  • social hubs
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • energy consumption
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