A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

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Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

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, younger generations are addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile phones. A survey mentioned that several kids from the

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

Change preposition

of 7

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to 11 invest more time

Change preposition

show examples

watching TV and/or video

games

Use synonyms

. It causes several issues for their children but it is easy to solve. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the problem

along with

Linking Words

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

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for

children

Change noun form

children's

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addiction. Children who watch television and video

games

Use synonyms

daily they affected by vision

problem

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problems

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. It leads to

wear eye

Wrong verb form

wearing

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glass

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glasses

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for lifelong and sometimes young

one

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ones

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feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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head pain or

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

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many illnesses.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it reduces their thinking ability and cognitive skills. They do not focus on their skills constantly and it shows the result in academic marks.

For instance

Linking Words

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

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suggest to wear the blue ray glass

while

Linking Words

seeing

Verb problem

watching

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the TV and play

games

Use synonyms

for vision protection. The solution

for

Change preposition

show examples

the problem is

parental

Replace the word

parents

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ought to set screen timing

limit

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limits

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Then

Linking Words

they can’t use the gadget for

sometimes

Correct your spelling

some time

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For example

Linking Words

, In

app

Add an article

the app

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store, there is an app called locked that can be able to fix the timing for our requirements to use the specific application and it

prompt

Change the verb form

prompts

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the alert message after

duration

Correct article usage

the duration

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exit.

Additionally

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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parents should encourage their

kid

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kids

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to do physical activities

such

Linking Words

as outdoor

games

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

leisure

Correct pronoun usage

their leisure

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time. it helps to increase the immune system for

healthy

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a healthy

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life. In conclusion, parents should advise their

kid

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kids

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about the issue at

last

Linking Words

and they want to spend more time with their young

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

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Also

Linking Words

, they should give

the

Correct article usage

show examples

positive impression to

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

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in physical entertainment.

insighttribezWed Apr 24 2024

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Introduction

Try to introduce the topic more clearly and directly to guide the reader smoothly into your discussion. This will provide a stronger foundation for your essay.

Body Paragraphs

Ensure the main ideas are well-developed with more elaborated examples and explanations. This helps to support your points more convincingly.

Transitions

Pay attention to organizing your paragraphs with clear, logical transitions. This enhances the flow of your essay and connects your ideas more cohesively.

Language Use

Consider diversifying your vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Supporting Evidence

Be mindful of avoiding generalizations and unsupported claims. Always try to back up your assertions with clear examples or evidence.

Grammar and Accuracy

Revisit the grammar basics to minimize errors that can distract from your message. Even minor mistakes can impact the clarity of your writing.

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt - the problem and potential solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Conclusion

You've provided a conclusion that summarises the essay's main points, reinforcing your argument effectively.

Real-World Example

Using real-world examples, like the application that limits screen time, makes your argument more relatable and persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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A REPORT INDICATED THAT MANY CHILDREN BETWEEN 7 AND 11 SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WATCHING TELEVISION AND / OR PLAY VIDEO GAMES. HOW DOES THE PROBLEM AFFECT THE CHILDREN? WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO CONTROL IT?

Your opinion

Many manufactured food and drink contains high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

people think texting has more advantages than talking by phone. Do you agree or not?

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.