Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage case? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?
In
a
modern society, Remove the article
apply
problem
of shortage Correct article usage
the problem
aqua
pura is becoming more significant and Change preposition
of aqua
importance
of Correct article usage
the importance
this
is increasing. The main cause of lack
of pure Correct article usage
the lack
water
is pollution
of resources which was giving drinking Add an article
the pollution
a pollution
water
to population
, and the best solution for Add an article
the population
this
problem is to help people
to
understand the significance of Verb problem
apply
water
by providing video clips about this
catastrophe.
The major reason of
Change preposition
for
this
future global issue
is contamination of water
supplies such
as lakes, seas,oceans and rivers. Individuals by throwing their garbage like bottles, cans , plastic bags and cigarette tubs, they
are clogging the ocean which leads to Correct pronoun usage
apply
pollution
of Correct article usage
the pollution
water
. Due to
this
, a good amount of chemicals are damaging planet's
resources,like a Correct article usage
the planet's
cigarra
which contains Correct your spelling
cigar
a
Correct article usage
apply
cocain
which is harmful Correct your spelling
cocaine
for
Change the preposition
to
person's
health. Correct article usage
a person's
For example
, according to
the last
survey 65 per cent of river
in Almaty called Malaya Almayinka is full Add an article
the river
a river
with
a carton which was thrown by locals. Of course, Change preposition
of
due to
this
people
are suffering of
Change preposition
from
deficiency
of a fresh Correct article usage
a deficiency
water
supply.
To tackle this
issue
people
should convey information about this
problem, by posting video clips or posts by
adding photos of that mess on platforms Change preposition
apply
such
Instagram
, Tik-tok and YouTube where a lot of Change preposition
as Instagram
people
spend their time, they can see that if they do not pollute the water
resources, there will not be lackness
of fresh Correct your spelling
blackness
water
.
For instance
, research carried out that nowadays 95% of crowd
around the world Add an article
the crowd
a crowd
is
informed about crucial Correct subject-verb agreement
are
catostrophes
by social media.
In conclusion, impurity is a major Correct your spelling
catastrophes
catastrophe
issue
that can result shortage of pure water
, nevertheless
, it can be addressed by informing people
about this
global issue
.Submitted by aizered097 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but try to make your main points more distinct and clear. This helps in strengthening the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure to provide specific examples and data to support your points. Using researched facts or hypothetical scenarios could enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Task Achievement
While addressing the pollution of water sources, consider expanding on various forms and sources of pollution to provide a broader context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize transition words and phrases more effectively to ensure the smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion neatly summarizes the essay and reinforces the main points, effectively rounding off the discussion.
Task Achievement
Good job on identifying social media as a tool for raising awareness. This modern approach aligns well with the essay's context.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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