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Band 4

The number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.

#travellers #three #airports #york #city
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The line graph gives information about how many
the
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of the
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Correct your spelling
transwells
travels
trawells
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using
Wrong verb form
use
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there
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their
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 major
airaports
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airports
 in New York City namely
JohnF
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John
.
LaGuardia
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 and
Newark
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 between 1995 and 200 years
Overall
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
LaGuardia
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 showed rising trends,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of
Newark
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 saw small with
in
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apply
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LaGuardia
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 having the biggest and
Newark
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 very low .
According to
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 the line graph that showed
John
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F
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. average 25 %percentage of
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a
the
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number
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 of
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trawells
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travellers
in
1995
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the 1995
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year
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.
LaGuardia
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 gradual 35
%proportion
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 of
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number
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a number
the number
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 of
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trawells
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travellers
 in
1995
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the 1995
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year
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.
Newark
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fall
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falls
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 15
%percentage
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 of
number
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Use synonyms
trawells
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travels
transwells
 in
1995
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the 1995
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year
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.
John
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F
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.
rise
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rose
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 33
%proportion
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 of the
number
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 of
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trawels
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travels
 in
1996
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the 1996
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year
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.
LaGuardia
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 dramatic 40 %percentage of
number
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trawels
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travels
trawls
on
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in
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1196
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the 1196
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year
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years
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.
Newark
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 a little rising 23
%proportion
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 of
number
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travels
transwells
trawells
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 in
1996
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the 1996
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year
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.
Jahn
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John
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F
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. significant rising 45 % percentage of
number
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trawel
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travel
in
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the
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1997
year
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.
LaGuardia
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 presumably 42
%proportion
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 of
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number
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the number
show examples
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of trawells
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trawells
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travels
transwells
in
1997
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the 1997
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year
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 .
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Newark
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Newark's
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 steady 38
%percentage
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 of
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number
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the number
show examples
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Change preposition
of trawells
show examples
trawells
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travels
transwells
 in
1997
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the 1997
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year
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.
John
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F
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. decline 33 %proportion of
number
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trawells
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travels
transwells
 in 1998
year
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.
LaGuardia
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 slight 43 %percentage of
number
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trawels
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travels
trawls
 in
1998
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the 1998
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year
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.
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Newark
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Newark's
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 steady 41 %percentage of
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number
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the number
show examples
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of trawells
show examples
trawells
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travels
transwells
 in
1998
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the 1998
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year
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.
John
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F
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. fall 32 % proportion of
number
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trawels
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travels
trawls
 in
1999
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the 1999
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year
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.
LaGuardia
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 sudden 50 %proportion of
number
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Use synonyms
trawells
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travels
transwells
 in
1999
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the 1999
show examples
year
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.
Newark
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 minimal rising 41
%percentage
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 of
number
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Use synonyms
trawells
Correct your spelling
travels
transwells
 in
1999
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the 1999
show examples
year
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.
John
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F
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 . marked 43 %proportion of
number
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trawels
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travels
trawls
 in
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the
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2000
year
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 .
LaGuardia
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 sharp 69
%percentage
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 of
number
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Use synonyms
trawells
Correct your spelling
travels
transwells
 in
2000
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the 2000
show examples
year
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.
Newark
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 a little rising 41 %proportion of
number
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Use synonyms
trawels
Correct your spelling
travels
trawls
 in
2000
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the 2000
show examples
year
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.
Submitted by hamzayevasamina on

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Structure
Work on structuring your essay more logically. A clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion can help present your analysis more effectively.
Cohesion
Introduce each airport analysis distinctly and ensure a smoother transition between sentences and paragraphs for enhanced readability.
Accuracy
Ensure to explain the trends and data points clearly and accurately. Avoid using terms like 'trawells' and instead, use the correct term 'travellers'.
Task Response
Try to provide a summary or an overview of the main trends observed at the beginning or end of your essay to encapsulate the information presented.
Detailing
Your attempt to include specific percentages and changes over the years shows a good approach to detailing.
Task Coverage
Addressing all three airports indicates an attempt to cover the task's scope completely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant increase
  • highest number
  • steady increase
  • largest growth
  • dramatic
  • slowest growth
  • slight decrease
  • gradual increase
  • period
  • travelers
  • major airports
  • followed by
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