IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

#workplace #countries #outweigh
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Beyond doubt, there have been many discussions revolving around the issue that
experience
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 is more important than
knowledge
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 in organizations.
Although
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this
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 idea is respectful, from my perspective, I highly support the idea which just
knowledge
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 or
experience
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not enough, both
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are necessary for organizations. In the next paragraph, I will delve into the main reasons in their
details
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detail
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.
To begin
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 with, applying only
experience
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 can result in some
problems
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 related to time management and lower performance. Namely, if employees have sufficient
knowledge
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, they will make a little bit
or
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of
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 insignificant
errors
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. They can overcome these
problems
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 on time.
Otherwise
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, if they do not have adequate
knowledge
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, they proceed to make important
errors
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 even if they have a lot of
experience
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.
Consequently
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, these
errors
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 can end up a waste of time and lower outcomes. In short,
knowledge
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 is like a guideline.
For
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this
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 reason, knowledgeable people will work with the right methods.
Hence
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, fewer
errors
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 can
be taken
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take
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 place, and these can be solved easily.
On the other hand
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, just
knowledge
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 is not important because anything can
make
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happen
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 more repeatedly. Even some recent research
emphasis
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emphasises
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 that new learning
process
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processes
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 take 10.000 hours theoretically,
however
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, these take just 20 hours practically.
Additionally
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, the same research
denote
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denotes
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 that practical learning is not enough
for being
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to be
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 professional.
Therefore
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,
knowledge
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 and practice should support each other.
To sum up
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,
knowledge
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 and
experience
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 are formatted together.
Experience
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 can be sufficient in the initial stages.
However
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, it will
be need
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need
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knowledge
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in
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at
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 the professional level because
experience
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 alone does not handle
problems
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. In these
stages
Add a comma
stages,
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problems
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 are very deep and
knowledge
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 is needed.
That is
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 why it
is demanded
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demands
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 informative or
high
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highly
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 educational people for the president, executives, and
managers
Change noun form
managers'
manager's
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 vacations.
Submitted by sabinanezar93 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance on the topic. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
Task Achievement
Integrate specific examples to enhance your argument. Examples provide concrete evidence to support your ideas and make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical flow throughout your essay. Each paragraph should seamlessly connect to the next, with clear topic sentences that outline the main point of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to refine your conclusion to ensure it succinctly summarizes your argument and reflects on the implications or recommendations based on your discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, acknowledging the importance of both knowledge and experience in the workplace.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear effort to structure the essay, with a distinctive introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
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