IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

a photograph you submitted to your local art gallery has been selected to feature in an upcoming exhibition write a letter to your english speaking friend tell him about your good news describe photograph tell him to attend the exhibition

#photograph #art #gallery #feature #exhibition #english #friend #news
Dear Salmon, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to express my joy regarding a photograph that I
have
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submitted
last
 week to your local art gallery .
As my
Correct word choice
My
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 joy knew no bounds when
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 found that it
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 been
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 for an upcoming exhibition which will be held
at the end
 of
the
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July. Actually, It was a picture of beautiful nature which shows a scenic view of a statue of earth revolving around the high mountains, large trees , green grass, a peaceful lake and so on.
Last
 week, when I walked down
my
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memory lane
then
i
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I
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 revived the memories of
this
 place which was situated at the centre of
the
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kashmir
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Kashmir
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 where we went two years ago
for spending
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to spend
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 some time together.
Hence
, through the power of my pencil, I drew the whole scene at once.
Moreover
, my exhibition day is the
last
 Sunday of next month.
Therefore
, I would like to request that you will have to come before one day. There will be no excuse from your side whether it will be your presentation day or any other special
occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
. Cannot wait to meet you! Yours lovingly, John
Submitted by deepnimrat553 on

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Grammar
Consider revising 'choosen' to 'chosen' for the correct past participle form.
Vocabulary
Use 'it depicts' instead of 'Actually, it was' for a clearer and more direct description of the photograph.
Clarity
Clarify 'through the power of my pencil, I drew the whole scene at once.' Did you mean you captured this scene through photography, or is this a metaphor for how vividly the photograph represents the scene?
Grammar
Address the mixed use of past and present tense to maintain consistency in your narrative.
Opening
Engaging opening line expressing joy and setting the context clearly.
Content
Good use of a personal anecdote to describe the photograph and link it to shared memories.
Purpose
The invitation to the exhibition is clear, making the purpose of the letter evident.
Closing
Personal sign-off adds a warm touch to the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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