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Band 5.5

Every large city in the world is facing the problem of increasing traffic from the growing numbers of cars and other motor vehicles.Which factors are responsible for the increase in traffic?How can this traffic problem be reducedʼ

#city #world #traffic #numbers #cars #motor #vehicles #factors #reducedʼ
In today's modern world, there are a great number of traffic jams in many big areas which
occured
Correct your spelling
occur
as a result
 of private transportation. Two important cases that brought
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these problems should be resolved by the government.
This
 essay will deal with setbacks and clarification in the following paragraphs The first thing
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
 be pointed out is that there is a significant rise in the production of
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 cars and motorbikes and
this
 has led to not only being interested and purchased transports by
people
 but
also
the
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 stuck
of
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on
show examples
 the central roads. What is more,
although
 in many metropolitan
cities
Add a comma
cities,
show examples
 it is
available
Correct word choice
possible
show examples
 to get by bus and subway for work or somewhere , most
people
 have no desire for public transport
to take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because of often crowded with local
people
.
Fire
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
 and foremost, there are lots of actions to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
these issues. In
this
 regard, the government ought to expand roads and create a single way for only private transport systems like pedestrian ones. As an illustration
of
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apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, in Sweden,
almost
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on almost
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 every road there is a line
what
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about what
show examples
 kind of transportation to be driven and it would be acceptable and convenient for both local
people
 in cars and buses. Thereby, there
is
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 no traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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in
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on
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 highways, even
rush
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during rush
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 hours and it would decrease the gas
emission
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emissions
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 revealed by
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it will be an effective approach to
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
 on foot or riding bicycles which
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be put in force by governments.
This
 solution can cause the improvement of
people
's health. It can be concluded that from my perspective, despite
of
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apply
show examples
the fact that there are some factors that have resulted in serious complications like queues
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 roads by virtue of a noticeable growth in the number of cars and motorcycles which are appreciated and bought by
people
, the government can deal with these drawbacks by building on one single-use road and giving more opportunities to get their destination on foot or bike for local
people
instead
 of driving. It would be possible to enhance their health too.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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Language Clarity
Ensure clarity in expressing ideas, aiming for precision in language to enhance understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Grammar and Accuracy
Revise the essay for minor grammatical and punctuation inaccuracies to ensure professionalism in presentation.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the essay's topic and summarizing the main points.
Task Response
Your essay addressed the task's requirements by discussing the reasons for increased traffic and proposing solutions.
Content Relevance
You provided relevant examples and suggestions, which helped in supporting your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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