There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays
students
come across the pressure that they have to be successful in academic studies. Some people
tend to think that non-academic subjects
are not essential and it is more useful if young people
will improve only their academic subjects
. However
, the issue is not entirely straightforward, and arguments can be made against the idea. This
essay will discuss a debate, and give a concluding view.
On the one hand, it seems that indeed students
go to university to get a specialization in a certain field of study
and they must to
obtain only skills that will help them Change the verb form
apply
to
get a job and perform duties. Since the years of Verb problem
apply
study
are restricted it would be better to keep focus on specific subjects
. For instance
, it is possible that some students
can lose an opportunity to understand the material of main lectures because secondary subjects
take up time
and as the
Correct article usage
a
result
young Add a comma
result,
people
can not find any other time
to improve and achieve more success in their field of study
.
In contrast
, learning non-academic subjects
give
young Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
people
an
additional knowledge and at the same Correct article usage
apply
time
an educational institution does not impose a ban on Add a comma
time,
variety
of Add an article
a variety
subjects
. Not only should university
Correct article usage
the university
to
prepare Fix the infinitive
apply
students
for a future job, but also
an adult life in general. Moreover
, young people
by studying subjects
other than their professional
can let them Replace the word
profession
to
change Change the verb form
apply
the
focus and rest from academic activities.
Change the word
their
Finally
, my way of thinking there should be a balance in various types of studies. There are a significant number of benefits to learning both academic and non-academic subjects
throughout the study
period. However
, students
need to remember what is their main focus and prioritize time
correctly.Submitted by lobacheva.design on
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Task Achievement
To enhance clarity and impact, consider integrating more specific examples to underline your arguments. Although your points are well-made, the use of detailed instances can deepen the reader's understanding of your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and add sophistication to your argumentation. This can also help in making your essay more engaging.
Introduction
Your introduction sets up the essay topic well, providing a clear indication of your discussion direction.
Logical Structure
You've maintained a logical flow of ideas, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints, reinforcing your balanced perspective on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.