Write about the following topic: In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, many individuals across the world
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
relying
Wrong verb form
relied
show examples
more and more on private
fitness
instructors as a form of
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
as opposed to the traditional way of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
participation and joining active
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
classes.
This
is mainly because personal instructors offer the best
results
due to
their expertise and access to modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
;
thus
, making it a much more beneficial initiative. Private
fitness
instructors are believed to have, not just
qualifications
Correct article usage
the qualifications
show examples
and experiences needed to effectively deliver great
results
to their customers, but
also
access to modern
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
for
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
.
This
factor makes them more attractive to individuals, who prefer to make use of the best
equipments availabe
Correct your spelling
equipment available
while
also
being guided
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
experts who have the best
knowldege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
and strategies to help them attain their body goals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as far as
fitness
is concerned.
For instance
, many
fitness
centres
such
as
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
offer different forms of
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
including weight-lifting,
bicycle- riding
Correct your spelling
bicycle-riding
show examples
,
yoga
Correct word choice
and yoga
show examples
among others, which are all accessible within the same area.
Therefore
, people appreciate the tremendous
results
and
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
that
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
with using a
fitness
trainer as opposed to traditional ways of
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising
. Undoubtedly,
utilisation
Correct article usage
the utilisation
show examples
of personal trainers is
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
significant. For starters, it presents people with numerous
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
options to choose from
therefore
, giving them an opportunity to participate in what interests them more, or even what is more effective for them at
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
their desired goals.
Secondly
, it
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
confidence among individuals in knowing that they are taking part in the correct type of
fitness
activities that are within their capacity
while
also
being able to achieve their desired
results
.
For example
, one can choose to take part in one of the many
optionss
Correct your spelling
options
available in a
fitness
centre and do so under the supervision and guidance of
their
Change the word
a
show examples
private instructor. People are now more drowned to hiring personal trainers as opposed to participating in sports and
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
classes.
This
type of
fitness
is becoming more prominent making it a positive development as it offers the best
results
due to
its expert instructions and access to advanced
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
that aid in
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising
activities.
Submitted by vkisiero on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to diversify your sentence structures to add fluidity and interest to your writing.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to better express your ideas and keep the reader engaged.
Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, consider adding more specific examples from your own experience or observational insights. These examples can significantly enhance the credibility and relatability of your arguments.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed both parts of the prompt, discussing the reasons for choosing personal fitness trainers over traditional exercises and evaluating the positive development of this trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points are well supported and presented in a logical order, which greatly aids in the overall cohesion and coherence of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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