Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?
In an advanced technological century, many electronic devices have promoted
information
online for a few decades. Use synonyms
This
tendency leads to numerous humans using those things for work and entertainment. Linking Words
This
is an emergency that may have benefits for human nature rather than leading to drawbacks. Linking Words
This
essay will expound on both views and answer the statement.
Linking Words
Firstly
, one of the major cons of the development is overactive electronic devices. Linking Words
For example
, recent surveys indicated that some users have spent much Linking Words
time
on screen Use synonyms
time
frequently for entertainment or work, which resulted in an increasing number of patients who had short-eyes or long-eyes health issues and chronic illnesses Use synonyms
such
as joint pain when they were prolonged screen Linking Words
time
. In a word, Use synonyms
information
technology is more likely to contribute to users having health problems significantly.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are many aspects of viewers who use electronic products in their leisure Linking Words
time
or online meetings. Use synonyms
To begin
with, viewers have many virtual meetings to expand their social circles. Linking Words
For instance
, online dating is a popular trend nowadays, it can promote a wide range of Linking Words
information
technology for daters posting their files on social media platforms. Use synonyms
Second,
another advantage is to find out some economic data for analysis in the Zoom meetings. Linking Words
This
is more likely Linking Words
due to
the contribution of workers who conduct some projects whenever in need. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
information
technology tends to benefit human nature by making new friends or conducting projects.
In conclusion, based on the statements above, the Use synonyms
information
technological era causes the cons of the development to be overactive, Use synonyms
while
the pros of the development are making new friends and conducting projects. Linking Words
Although
it has a negative effect, the advantages surely outweigh the disadvantages.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Use topic sentences to open each paragraph and clearly indicate the main point you will discuss within that section. Ensure that each paragraph links naturally from one to the next. It's important to have a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but there's a need for a more explicit thesis statement that directly addresses the extent to which the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion should summarize the key points made in the essay and provide a final, clear stance.
coherence cohesion
The main points you raise are not sufficiently developed nor supported by detailed examples. When discussing the disadvantages and advantages, provide specific, concrete examples to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Your response to the task is somewhat complete, however, you need to fully answer all parts of the task with a clear argument. Make sure you address 'to what extent' and not simply list pros and cons. A more detailed examination of each side of the issue is necessary, with a clearer judgment on the extent to which one outweighs the other.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant but need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Use precise language and clear idea development strategies, such as explanation, comparison, and reference to specific situations or studies.
task achievement
The essay requires more relevant and specific examples to support the claims made. The use of hypothetical scenarios or general observations is not as strong as citing real-world instances or studies, which could substantiate your arguments on the effects (both positive and negative) of information technology.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?