IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

people should only buy food sourced locally. what are the advantages or disadvantages of this .

#people #food
Due to
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 in diseases related to
food
, a majority of
people
 believe that all individuals must purchase local fruits and vegetables and
this
 will be e beneficial for their health. There are several merits and
dismesate
Correct your spelling
disparate
 regarding
this
 view and both are
further
 discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid examples and explanations.
Firstly
, discussing the benefits of the giver statement, the first and
prominent
Correct quantifier usage
most prominent
show examples
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 that,
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 public will stay healthy and fit by eating
locally
Change the word
local
show examples
food
 products, because
Change preposition
of regetables
show examples
regetables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
, fruits and other essential
produits
Correct your spelling
products
. are grown with much care and they are fresh compared to buying other cities or in
blages
Correct your spelling
places
food
.
Moreover
, the hauskers and the farmers who sell them and who grow them will
gair
Correct your spelling
gain
 profit if local
people
 buy
food
 items from local shops. Apart from these, the
food
 products. which come from other areas might get ripe
due to
 the distance and
ripen
Wrong verb form
ripened
show examples
food
 can cause
healthrelated
Correct your spelling
health-related
health related
 problems
such
 as ésucessive
pan
Correct your spelling
pain
show examples
 in
stomach
Add an article
the stomach
show examples
.
Therefore
, these are some benefits regarding the given viewpoint.
However
, there are
also
 several
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
 and one of them is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 individuals will not be able to taste different types of
food
. For instance
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
food
 materials
depende
Correct your spelling
depends
 on two conditions,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 is
Correct article usage
the wheather
show examples
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
weather
 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one is
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
. Die to different types of
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
 and aree the
food
 which is grown
raries
Correct your spelling
rarities
.
For example
, a fruit
name
Replace the word
named
show examples
 Kur which is rich in nutrients es
wellas
Correct your spelling
well as
 good for health and
also
 delicious is not grown in India and
Correct your spelling
imported
Add a missing verb
is inported
show examples
inported
Correct your spelling
imported
 from foreign countries Conclusively, if numerous amount of
people
 only buy
food
 which is locally grown
then
 they will stay fit and fine and they will stay away from diseases.
However
, the one
Correct your spelling
drawback
drowback
Correct your spelling
drawback
 is that
people
 will not be able to taste various types of
food
 products
Correct your spelling
which
wher
Correct your spelling
which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 healthy, but
grows
Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
show examples
 in different regions.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Accuracy
Ensure accurate and consistent spelling to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
Supporting Examples
Clarify and elaborate on your examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Paragraph Structure
Focus on developing a more structured approach to paragraphs, ensuring each one has a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
Task Response
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of local food consumption.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a clear framework for your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: