Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Today more and more
tourists
are visiting places where
conditions
are difficult. But what are the benefits and disadvantages for
tourists
who visit
such
places? On one hand, it is beneficial for the
residences
Replace the word
residents
show examples
living under these
conditions
to be seen and uppmärksammade.
For instance
, me and my family went to Tanzania on a safari. It was not until when we arrived there, that we
relized
Correct your spelling
realised
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
circumstances the
cilitzen
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
of the area
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
living under. They were poorer
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
we could
imagend
Correct your spelling
imagine
imagined
. As an example they lived in "houses" with no roofs and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
almost no one had shoes. After seeing
this
with our own eyes, we came to the conclusion that we have to do what we can to make the
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
better in Tanzania. We started to donate money to the ones in need. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that a huge amount of
tourists
that visit and experience these places,
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
to the same conclusion as we did. If more
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
start to donate to
carity
Correct your spelling
charity
then
the
conditions
in these areas may increase. 
On the other hand
, the amount of
tourists
may distract the government from the residences. To be clear, if the area is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attracting a lot of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
,
then
the government may invest their money in the tourist
brach
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branch
show examples
,
while
they forget about the
conditions
of their
cilitzen
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
.
This
would
leed
Correct your spelling
lead
show examples
to a lot of disadvantages for the
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
living there.
To conclude
, the
consecvenses
Correct your spelling
consequences
of tourism are both positive and negative for the
residences
Replace the word
residents
show examples
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
their situation gets more attention
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the rest of the world. If it is
evident
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
circumstances they are living under
then
more people may
me
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
invested in
increasing
Verb problem
improving
show examples
their
conditions
. On the other side, the large number of
tourists
may
encurage
Correct your spelling
encourage
the government in the
countrie
Correct your spelling
country
to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money on their tourist attractions, rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
on their
cilitzen
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Structuring
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Linking
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Grammar & Spelling
Focus on correcting spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your text. Consider using tools or additional proofreading to aid in this.
Balanced Discussion
Provide a balanced discussion of the benefits and disadvantages by dedicating similar levels of detail and development to each side.
Relevant Examples
You effectively provided relevant examples to support your main points, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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