Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephone at their home for work. Do you think, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages?
In these modern days, people often times have their gadgets at
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
home
and used
Wrong verb form
use
for
working from Correct pronoun usage
them for
home
. Although
work
from Wrong verb form
working
home
have
Change the verb form
has
severals
disadvantages, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. In Correct your spelling
several
this
essay, I will discuss both of
the Change preposition
apply
benefit
and Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
drawback
of Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
work
from Wrong verb form
working
home
.
On the one hand, work
from Wrong verb form
working
home
separate
people away with their colleagues and could result Replace the word
separates
into
Change preposition
in
the
lack of emotional connection with colleagues. Correct article usage
a
Furthermore
, this
would affect the enjoyment of working with others and lose
the chance to talk freely about Verb problem
apply
work
. For instance
, I am a remote worker and because of absence
of Add an article
the absence
an absence
face to face
interaction, I'm unable to be really close emotionally with my coworkers, resulting not the best teamwork. Add a hyphen
face-to-face
Consequently
, create
a negative working environment.
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
On the other hand
, remote work
provide
more flexibility. In some workfields, it's just not really important to be doing Change the verb form
provides
job
on site. Add an article
a job
the job
For example
, software engineers are
not really Verb problem
do
needed
to be physically in the office. Especially, most Wrong verb form
need
of
software engineers are introverts and often times they would be more productive by remote Change preposition
apply
work
. Moreover
, by doing things remotely, employee
can preserve their energy, Add an article
the employee
an employee
instead
of spend
it on their travel to Change the verb form
spending
office
.
Add an article
the office
an office
To conclude
, in my perspective
virtual Add a comma
perspective,
work
bring
a lot of advantages and Change the verb form
brings
outweigh
its disadvantages. Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
Although
, some social events Correct word choice
However
are
still Verb problem
apply
needed
to be Wrong verb form
need
a
media for the employees to have bonding time. Correct article usage
apply
These kind
of events could boost their teamwork and create Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
positive
working environment.Add an article
a positive
Submitted by ridhokholis9a on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position with a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages. Consider integrating more specific examples to strengthen your argument and make your points more vivid.
Coherence/Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. This will also showcase your linguistic range.
Language Proficiency
Be attentive to minor typographical and grammatical errors, as they can slightly hinder the clarity of your message. Proofreading can help you minimize these.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly stating your standpoint.
Logical Structure
Good job on structuring your essay logically, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
Task Response
You successfully discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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