In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

There are areas in which urbanization specialists centralise all main
acivities
Correct your spelling
activities
of the city. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will evaluate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why, I believe that
this
situation brings more pros than cons for society.
To begin
with, town arrangements are made in a way that if the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
want to use multiple services, they will be
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a close distance
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
each other.
For example
, parents may pick up their kid from school, do groceries and go back to their house in one drive. The way it is planned lets them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do more stuff and
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
time.
Moreover
, spreading towns from rural areas allows us to have both busy and calm parts of the country. Certainly, living in a peaceful environment far away from the office helps some people to separate private life from work.
On the other hand
, it creates difficulties for those who live in villages. If they forgot to buy a small thing, they would have to struggle
with finding
Change preposition
to find
show examples
any shop near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their house. It
also
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
the
variousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
of
enterntaiments
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
for villagers without
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
driving licence.
For instance
, they usually cannot go to a mall or theatre without a car.
Therefore
, the current arrangement does not work for
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
social class.
However
, it is worth mentioning that there are other options for them
such
as bus or taxi.
To sum up
, some parts of the cities are more
industralised
Correct your spelling
industrialised
industrialized
than others.
However
, it leads adults to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
time that they spend on travelling and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not mix office and daily life.
Nevertheless
, those who have no access to transport would struggle with travelling.
Overall
, I believe that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
enough additional transfer options that the present separation of cities is
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for the local community.
Submitted by Aga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure to provide a balanced argument by discussing both sides equally before making a conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Try to blend simple and complex sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors, as they can slightly affect the clarity of your message. For example, 'safe time' should be 'save time', and 'variousity' should be 'variety'.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples and explanations to further strengthen your arguments and provide a deeper insight.
Task Achievement
Your essay presented a clear opinion, stating that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You effectively used examples to support your points, which helped in illustrating your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay was logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: