In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

There are areas in which urbanization specialists centralise all main
acivities
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activities
of the city. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will evaluate
on
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apply
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why, I believe that
this
situation brings more pros than cons for society.
To begin
with, town arrangements are made in a way that if the
citizen
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citizens
show examples
want to use multiple services, they will be
in
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at
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a close distance
to
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from
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each other.
For example
, parents may pick up their kid from school, do groceries and go back to their house in one drive. The way it is planned lets them
to
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apply
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do more stuff and
safe
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save
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time.
Moreover
, spreading towns from rural areas allows us to have both busy and calm parts of the country. Certainly, living in a peaceful environment far away from the office helps some people to separate private life from work.
On the other hand
, it creates difficulties for those who live in villages. If they forgot to buy a small thing, they would have to struggle
with finding
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to find
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any shop near
by
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apply
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their house. It
also
decrease
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decreases
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the
variousity
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curiosity
of
enterntaiments
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entertainment
entertainments
for villagers without
the
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a
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driving licence.
For instance
, they usually cannot go to a mall or theatre without a car.
Therefore
, the current arrangement does not work for
lower
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the lower
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social class.
However
, it is worth mentioning that there are other options for them
such
as bus or taxi.
To sum up
, some parts of the cities are more
industralised
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industrialised
industrialized
than others.
However
, it leads adults to
safe
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save
show examples
time that they spend on travelling and
do
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apply
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not mix office and daily life.
Nevertheless
, those who have no access to transport would struggle with travelling.
Overall
, I believe that there
is
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are
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enough additional transfer options that the present separation of cities is
benefitial
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beneficial
for the local community.
Submitted by Aga on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to provide a balanced argument by discussing both sides equally before making a conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and flow. Try to blend simple and complex sentences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors, as they can slightly affect the clarity of your message. For example, 'safe time' should be 'save time', and 'variousity' should be 'variety'.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples and explanations to further strengthen your arguments and provide a deeper insight.
Task Achievement
Your essay presented a clear opinion, stating that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You effectively used examples to support your points, which helped in illustrating your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay was logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
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