The line graph shows the numbers of queries received by the tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

The  line graph shows the numbers of queries received  by the  tourist information office in one city over a six-month period in  2011.
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The line graph depicts data about tourist queries that were done in an unspecified office over six months in 2011, from January to
June
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, in-person and phone communication were the most preferred having an upward trend,
while
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debts done by letter were the least chosen showing a downward tendency. In detail, in-person queries started at their lowest point just above 400, after that depicting a steady increase and peaking at 1900 approximately in
June
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.
On the other hand
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, phone questions began at roughly 900,
however
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, between January and March it plunged, followed by a period in which it remained stable until April when there was a sudden increase. In the end, its acme was reached in
June
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at 1600.
In contrast
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, writing reports by letter and email were located at their highest point in January just below 800, followed by a gradual decrease until March when it soared by 200 queries approximately.
Finally
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, variations were not experienced between May and
June
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.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words june with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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