Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

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Honestly speaking,
this
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topic is highly challenging to me.
However
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, I still have attended a monument in Vung Tau, Vietnam which has a profound meaning. Now, let's turn into more detail. To the best of my collection, Vo Thi Sau's monument is located at Vung Tau but sorry that I cannot remember where it is. Her statue is placed in a
ventilate
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ventilated
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, four-season place, fragrant with porcelain flowers, magnolia flowers, and lekima flowers. A beautiful, peaceful, and quiet place. More for the details, the statue of
Ms.
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Ms
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Vo Thi Sau cast in copper with a medium-high about 7 meters, a statue has been made with fluttering under a piece of "Bà Ba" shirt in the wind. What impressed me the most was her upright posture
while
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she began to go to the battlefield. The visitors could not help but feel sad and moved by the heroic, indomitable, and resilient
demeanor
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demeanour
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of the heroine and I was no exception. Normally, I would just go through the history statutes but after listening to the explanation about the background of Vo Thi Sau, she really touched my heart and inspired me a lot
that is
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why I still remember her state
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apply
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until
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now. She gave me many lessons
such
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as respect and love valuing my own life, be proud of my country.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
Try to directly address the essay topic at the beginning. Establish a clear opinion or argument in relation to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a more structured essay. Organize your ideas into paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Introduce the topic and your viewpoint clearly, and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
You've shared a personal experience with meaningful detail, which adds depth to your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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