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Band 3.5

Some people think that using animal for experimental purpose is cruel but other people think it is necessary for development of science Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #purpose #development #science
In recent years, it has become prevalent that more
animals
 are used for experiments, contributing to the development of science. Under
this
 circumstance, some people believe that taking
animals
 as
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experimental products is unacceptable.
However
, some argue that the tests on
animals
 are
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the growth of science, enhancing humans' lives. In my opinion, doing experiments by using
animals
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 influence on our society. On the one hand, some people disagree with using
animals
 for a
test
 because they think it is cruel. It is obvious that they believe
animals
' lives are as vital as humans.
Hence
, we are supposed to protect
animals
instead
 of hurting
animals
 by doing experiments.
On the other hand
, it is apparent that some people believe that using
animals
 as
an experimental products
Correct the article-noun agreement
an experimental product
experimental products
show examples
 may bring long-term advantages to humans.
For instance
, some
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 may innovate some brand new medicine, they have to
test
 the medicine before launching
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 the public, so as to protect the safety of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
Hence
, it is superior to have a
test
 on
animals
. In my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think using
animals
 to
test
 is
beneifcal
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the growth of our
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
However
, we should lower the impact on
animals
 as much as we can.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples and evidences to support your arguments for both views and your own opinion. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structures and improving paragraph transitions. This will improve the readability and flow of your arguments.
general
Carefully proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and enhance clarity. Consistently accurate language use will elevate your score.
task achievement
You have clearly discussed both views and stated your own opinion, effectively addressing all parts of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured in a logical manner, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion stating your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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