Today, the high sales of popular consumer good reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Some people consider
that
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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popularity of consumer goods numerously sold with the assistance of
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements

It seems that advertisement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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do
Correct word choice
and do

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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not think about why society really
Change the verb form
needs

The verb need does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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need
Correct pronoun usage
need it

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. I completely agree with the statement and will support it with specific examples and reasons.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, merchandise well-sold because of great advertisements might not be as good as they were described. Let's take Remax as an example, there are many kinds of official and unofficial advertisements about how reliable
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

product is. Particularly, the Remax headphones function was mostly advertised as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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waterproof,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after many complaints about its ability to waterproof does not concur with the description in the
advertise
Replace the word
advertisement

The word advertise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case, a lot of
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have absolutely been induced by attractive posters and
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
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post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts

It seems that post may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on social media, which means
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

hardly could get
Correct article usage
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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good
products
Correct the article-noun agreement
product

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun products in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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that
satisfies
Change the verb form
satisfy

The singular verb satisfies does not appear to agree with the plural subject a good products. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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their demands even though
Correct pronoun usage
they
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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might
cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a lot.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
ecstasy
Add an article
the ecstasy

The noun phrase ecstasy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of advertisements may increase the
cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, those companies that increase the funds for publicizing will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

increase the
cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of advertised products as well, which will lead
consumers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to get them
with
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a high
cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without considering other affordable and similar goods. As
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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result, they will spend their money pointlessly on
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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but different costed products. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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merchandise
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

well-advertised could attract more crowds, they might not concur with what buyers really need because of surplus description and pointless high
cost
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Introduction
To strengthen your argument, ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss. This will help readers understand your stance from the beginning.
Argument Depth
Provide a balanced view by exploring the other side of the argument even if you disagree. It shows depth of analysis.
Conclusion
To improve task response, try to directly address the question in your conclusion, summarizing your stance and the reasons behind it clearly.
Coherence
For better coherence, consider adding more transition phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Logical Structure
Your paragraph structure is logical, helping in maintaining the flow of ideas.
Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for your discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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