Today, the high sales of popular consumer good reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people consider
that
popularity of consumer goods numerously sold with the assistance of Correct determiner usage
the
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
do
not think about why society really Correct word choice
and do
Change the verb form
needs
need
. I completely agree with the statement and will support it with specific examples and reasons.
Correct pronoun usage
need it
On the other hand
, merchandise well-sold because of great advertisements might not be as good as they were described. Let's take Remax as an example, there are many kinds of official and unofficial advertisements about how reliable this
product is. Particularly, the Remax headphones function was mostly advertised as its
waterproof, Correct pronoun usage
apply
however
, after many complaints about its ability to waterproof does not concur with the description in the advertise
. In Replace the word
advertisement
this
case, a lot of consumers
have absolutely been induced by attractive posters and Fix the agreement mistake
posts
post
on social media, which means Fix the agreement mistake
posts
consumers
hardly could get Correct article usage
apply
a
good Correct article usage
apply
products
that Correct the article-noun agreement
product
satisfies
their demands even though Change the verb form
satisfy
Correct pronoun usage
they
it
might Correct pronoun usage
they
cost
a lot.
Furthermore
, ecstasy
of advertisements may increase the Add an article
the ecstasy
cost
of consumers
. For example
, those companies that increase the funds for publicizing will also
increase the cost
of advertised products as well, which will lead consumers
to get them with
a high Change preposition
at
cost
without considering other affordable and similar goods. As the
result, they will spend their money pointlessly on Correct article usage
a
same
but different costed products.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
the same
while
the
merchandise Correct article usage
apply
that is
well-advertised could attract more crowds, they might not concur with what buyers really need because of surplus description and pointless high cost
.Submitted by nazim200709 on
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Introduction
To strengthen your argument, ensure your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss. This will help readers understand your stance from the beginning.
Argument Depth
Provide a balanced view by exploring the other side of the argument even if you disagree. It shows depth of analysis.
Conclusion
To improve task response, try to directly address the question in your conclusion, summarizing your stance and the reasons behind it clearly.
Coherence
For better coherence, consider adding more transition phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
Examples
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Logical Structure
Your paragraph structure is logical, helping in maintaining the flow of ideas.
Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for your discussion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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