Topic 1: Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Due to
the promotion of higher education pursuit and the focus on the
job success, there are more and more people Correct article usage
apply
choose
to get married in their later life, often in their 30s. Some may believe it brings positive benefits Correct pronoun usage
who choose
while
some have the opposite belief.
Forming a new family with the one you love in later life provides better support to the new family financially. When people marry in their 30s, it means they have more time to focus on their job in their 20s. This
allowed them to work more intensively without worrying about their family or children. The time and effort they put into their occupations might lead to better performance in the workplace and lead to benefits like reaching a higher position and income that support their later expenses when they form their family.
Some may believe that the late marriage phenomenon is responsible for the problem of the low birth rate. In most of the developed countries, the birth rate is extremely low. As females have a higher risk of death if they got
pregnant in their late 30s, fewer couples were willing to have their own child, and even if they did, the number of children they had dropped from five to six in past to one or two currently. The limited Wrong verb form
get
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
newborn
illustrate the issue of having insufficient working labour in the near future. The drop in tax income and rise in retired persons Fix the agreement mistake
newborns
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
needs
the government's support may be a potential threat to the whole economic system. Proving how late marriage would harm Correct subject-verb agreement
need
the
society as a whole.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, there are both positive and negative sides to community
getting married late, it is important for the government to decide how to minimise the impact on the country with Correct article usage
the community
this
trend and to maintain a stable development in their area.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on examples to strengthen your arguments. While the broad impacts are mentioned, specific, real-world examples could provide more depth to your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance cohesion, consider varying your sentence structures and transition phrases more. This can help the flow of the essay and keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Keep working on developing a clear and strong thesis statement in the introduction. This sets the tone for your essay and provides clarity on your stance from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Effective use of main points to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of marrying late.
task achievement
Successfully identifies complex implications, such as economic and societal impacts of late marriages, showing a deep understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.