IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The map below is of the town og Garlsdon. A new supermarket is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

The map below is of the town og Garlsdon. A new supermarket is planned for the town. The map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
#town #og #garlsdon #supermarket #two #sites
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The
map
Use synonyms
 delineates the rough sketch of Garlsdon
town
Use synonyms
. The
map
Use synonyms
 has been divided into two parts s1 and s2, in which either
one
Use synonyms
 of the
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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 is planned to build a new supermarket. Both s1 and s2 include Housing, Industry and
Town
Use synonyms
 centre. S1 has
one
Use synonyms
 main road which extends to the
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
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 side and is 12 km away from Hindon
whereas
Linking Words
 s2 has two main roads.
One
Use synonyms
 in the
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 region which has
population
Add an article
a population
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around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 15000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
one
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
is in
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 the
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
 which has a population of 29000. In the middle of the
Use synonyms
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 can see a
town
Use synonyms
 centre and a railway road crossing.
Overall
Linking Words
, Garlsdon has a population
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 65000.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of people live in
Add an article
the south
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south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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 and
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
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 side of Garlsdon
town
Use synonyms
. Since there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of people living in
this
Linking Words
 region,
this
Linking Words
 place looks ideal for
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if you closely observe,
one
Use synonyms
 can see that it is far away for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to access.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Add a comma
that,
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 there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 residents in
this
Linking Words
 region
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
north
Add an article
the north
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 side of the
map
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 s1 seems more appropriate to start a supermarket.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, town, one with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Infrastructure
  • Accessibility
  • Residential area
  • Commercial development
  • Traffic flow
  • Local employment
  • Economic impact
  • Ecological footprint
  • Congestion
  • Town expansion
  • Urban planning
  • Outskirts
  • Feasibility
  • Sustainability
  • Demographics
  • Necessities
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