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Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart shows the percentage of land in four countries that was covered by forest between 1600 and 2000.

the chart shows the percentage of land in four countries that was covered by forest between 1600 and 2000.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of area in four different countries that
was
Change the verb form
were
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 covered by forest during the past four decades. From the general
trend
Add a comma
trend,
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 it can be seen that England and Scotland remained
desserted
Correct your spelling
deserted
 in the past 400 years but in 1950
people
Use synonyms
 started to move to
this
Linking Words
 land. France showed fluctuating trends.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States was
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top of
list
Add an article
the list
show examples
 with 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 in 1600.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States in
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
 century was colonized as 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 were living there
then
Linking Words
 a downfall in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 can be seen till 1900. France had almost about 30%
peopulation
Correct your spelling
population
 in 1600
then
Linking Words
 it showed a rapid decrease in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 colonized there and after 1850 an upward trend can be noticed. Scotland remained constant
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 3 centuries but after 1950 urbanisation started there.
To conclude
Linking Words
 most of the area is still covered by forest but
ir
Correct your spelling
it
 can be seen that
people
Use synonyms
 are moving
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 these areas and
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is growing there.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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