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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
#changes #place #waterfront #area #town #darwin
The diagram below illustrates how the waterfront area of a town called Darwin
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed between 2009 and 2014.
Overall
, the realm did not change that much since some institutions were still at the same places
such
 as
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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, fishing
part
Correct your spelling
parties
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 and convention
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
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.
Nevertheless
, many developments occurred
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
besides
 that, more trees were planted, in 2009, there were only trees but in 2014 the trees were increasing over 10.
Firstly
, in 2009, the lake was surrounded by
the
Correct article usage
a
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foot path
Correct your spelling
footpath
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 which was the only route to visit the sea. there were 2 industrial areas,
however
, the places were replaced by
swimming
Add an article
the swimming
a swimming
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 pool and university building,
furthermore
, the black buildings ascended from 3 to 6 five years later.
Secondly
, in 2014, apart from the increasing number of plants, a swimming pool
were
Change the verb form
was
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 added near the lake
hence
 there were 3 pools during the period,
in addition
, the harbour
were
Change the verb form
was
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 built beside the sea and the crowds could follow the new
foot path
Correct your spelling
footpath
show examples
 to go to the place.
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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