IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph and table below show average monthly temperatures and average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features.

The graph and table below show average monthly temperatures and average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features
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The driven line graph and the table illustrate average temperatures per month
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
average
Correct article usage
the average
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number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunlight
Use synonyms
 per
twelve months
Correct your spelling
twelve-month
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 period in
tree
Correct your spelling
three
show examples
 major cities.
Initially
Linking Words
,from the given table it can be seen that the
number
Use synonyms
 of annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine for
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 relatively close to the same
number
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,
however
Linking Words
 in the line graph the peak
temperature
Use synonyms
 belongs to New
York
Use synonyms
 in July. And the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 during winter belongs to
Sydney
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. Turning to the data in more detail it can be seen that the lowest amount of
sunlight
Use synonyms
 during the first month of winter which is below 5
degrees
Use synonyms
, is in New
York
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 the second coolest
temperature
Use synonyms
 during the same month belongs to
London
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 it’s slightly less than 10
degrees
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when it comes
ti
Correct your spelling
to
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 the
Sydney
Use synonyms
 the amount of sunshine in there is much higher in comparison with
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 in more detail it’s just above 25
degrees
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
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. During the next
seasons
Add a comma
seasons,
show examples
 the amount of
sunlight
Use synonyms
 in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 went down and dropped to about 15
degrees
Use synonyms
 in July,
afterwards
Correct word choice
and afterwards
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 started rising again.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
London
Use synonyms
 and New
Use synonyms
York
Add a comma
York,
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 the lines increased rapidly, the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 surpassed 30
degrees
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 and the peak
temperature
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 in
London
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 just below 25
degrees
Use synonyms
. And taking a closer look
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year it can be observed that
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
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 of all
tree
Correct your spelling
the
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 given cities almost reached the same level as
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of the year, in more detail, in New
York
Use synonyms
- 5
degrees
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,
Sydney
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- 25
degrees
Use synonyms
 and
last
Linking Words
 but not least
London
Use synonyms
- below 10
degrees
Use synonyms
.
And we
Correct word choice
We
show examples
 were
also
Linking Words
 given a table with the sum of annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunlight
Use synonyms
 in the same three countries. The largest
number
Use synonyms
 is in New
York
Use synonyms
- 2535
hours
Use synonyms
, the second biggest
number
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 is in
Sydney
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- 2473
hours
Use synonyms
, and the city which has been receiving the minimal
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine is
London
Use synonyms
 with the
number
Use synonyms
 of 1180
hours
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by madinabonu.bm on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours, sunlight, sydney, york, temperature, degrees, london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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