Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

#topic #people #money #celebrations #waste

It is a known practice for some families to host a celebration whenever there is a special occasion. Other

people

hold the opinion that

this

is not practical and is a waste of resources.

This

essay will discuss both views and highlight examples for both. First of all, hosting a party is

one

way of commemorating special occasions or milestones in a family as

this

allows everyone to celebrate each other's success.

Consequently

, celebrating events

such

as birthdays, graduations and weddings

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

one

of the few reasons why

people

spend

money

on family

celebrations

since

this

is a

once in a lifetime

Add a hyphen

once-in-a-lifetime

show examples

event only.

Furthermore

, these

occassions

Correct your spelling

occasions

promote stronger family ties as relatives from far places attend these occasions and

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

catch up with the other family members. Children would get the chance to meet their distant cousins, aunts, and uncles which is important to their growth as a person. In

this

way,

this

also

serves as a family reunion so it is relevant to spend

money

on these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of occasions.

On the contrary

, some

people

think that spending

money

such

parties is not economical

due to

the inflation we are experiencing today. It is undeniable that hosting these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of events would sometimes break the bank if

one

does not budget properly and would lead to regrets later on. From small factors

such

as transport going to the venue to paying caterers for the food, it all involves spending

money

which is why some

people

are reluctant to spend

money

on family

celebrations

. Another reason why

people

think

this

could be a waste of

money

is because some prefer to have a small and intimate celebration rather than hosting a grandiose party. They prefer to have relatives who are close to them to keep everything simple and private. In conclusion, spending

money

on family

celebrations

has

Change the pronoun

its

show examples

benefits and drawbacks.

While

some

people

think

this

is not economical, I am of the opinion that having these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

celebrations

once in a

while

way

Add an article

a way

the way

show examples

of bringing the family closer to

one

another.

Submitted by joycegacho on Fri Apr 26 2024

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development of examples

Try to develop your examples further to strengthen your argument. While the examples given are relevant, providing more details or personal anecdotes could enhance their impact.

vocabulary and sentence variation

Consider varying sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement. This could make your essay sound more sophisticated.

stance clarity

Ensure a clear stance is presented in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion for a stronger argumentative stance. While your conclusion does summarize your view, making it more pronounced early on will enhance clarity.

balanced discussion

You have effectively discussed both views, providing a balanced analysis of the topic.

structure

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each view, and a conclusion summarizing your stance.

use of examples

You have successfully identified relevant examples to support your discussion points, which helps in illustrating your arguments.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Prompt: Watching TV shows and movies about crime is becoming more and more popular. Why is this? What effects does that have on society?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?