IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given maps illustrate the layout of a school in 2004 and the plan for its transformation after a 20-year period.

The given maps illustrate the layout of a school in 2004 and the plan for its transformation after a 20-year period.
The given maps illustrate the layout of a
school
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and the plan for its transformation after a 20-year period. In general,
although
Linking Words
 the
school
Use synonyms
 will experience a dramatic transformation with the erection of a
car
Use synonyms
 park and a
school
Use synonyms
 building to have enough room for more students, the rest of the
school
Use synonyms
 will remain nearly the same. In 2004, the two buildings in the
school
Use synonyms
 campus could cater for 600 students, they were separated by a path which led to the sports field at the North East corner of the
school
Use synonyms
 area.
However
Linking Words
, to meet the capacity of 1000 still, the sports field is expected to be moved to the East of the map for the erection of the third
school
Use synonyms
 block.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the two original buildings will be linked by a small road. As regards the campus’s surroundings, even though the main entrance and the
car
Use synonyms
 park in front still remain the same, the second
car
Use synonyms
 park is projected to be constructed to the East of the campus.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a new road which runs through the map to connect the two
car
Use synonyms
 parks from West to East will be erected.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, car with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: