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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.
#bar #hours #week #teenagers #activities #chester
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The chart illustrates leisure activities that teenagers spend in Chester from 2002 to 2007
Overall
,it seems that through these years the most popular activity was watching television,
however
,the most unpopular activity was bowling from 2002 to 2007. First of all, going to public places
such
 as pubs and discos was popular in 2007 with 17
hours
 per
week
,whilst, in 2002 and 2003
this
 type of activity had 7 and 10
hours
.
Furthermore
, 2004,2005 and 2006 had the same
hours
 with approximately 13
hours
 per
week
,respectively. Watching television was the most enjoyable among teenagers,where 2002 and 2003 had the same amount of
hours
 25.
However
, 2007,2006,2005 had approximately 38,36,35
hours
 per
week
 respectively. Doing homework and doing sports looked the same in both of these years,in comparison in 2002 doing homework had 2
hours
,but in 2006 and 2007 doing homework had more
hours
 than sports 5 times more. In terms of Shopping, in 2006 and 2007 had 15
hours
 per
week
 and in 2003 and 2004 had the same 12
hours
 per
week
 respectively. Watching DVDs had incrementally increased from 2003 to 2004 and had 15 to 18
hours
 per
week
 and decreased in 2005 to 17
hours
. Bowling was at the bottom through all
this
 time and was packed only in 2002 for 3
hours
 per
week
 among teenagers
Submitted by batirka06 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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