The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Undoubtedly, by levying heavy
taxes
on junk
food
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can motivate
people
to make better
food
choices. I totally agree with the
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
and
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
shed light on it in
forth coming
Correct your spelling
forthcoming
show examples
paragraph.
To begin
with,
application
Correct article usage
the application
show examples
of
taxes
on unhealthy
food
items will encourage
people
to adopt healthy
recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
.
In other words
,
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
cost of fast
food
due to
taxes
will decrease the buying capacity
ulimately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
encouraging
people
to make a shift. To exemplify:
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
government's application of heavy
taxes
on tobacco and liquor has helped the country to quit
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
habits by 27%.
Furthermore
, the step would
also
help
people
to live
disease free
Add a hyphen
disease-free
show examples
life
.
As junk
Correct word choice
Junk
show examples
food
has a lot of harmful acids and MSG, which could be a cause of cancer and
other disease
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another disease
other diseases
show examples
such
as high blood pressure,
diabities
Correct your spelling
diabetes
etc.
A recent
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Recent
show examples
research by Monash University claims that elimination of MSG and amino acids from the diet will not only help
people
to stay away
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
diseases like
diabiltes
Correct your spelling
diabetes
and blood pressure but
also
increase their
life
expetency
Correct your spelling
expectancy
. In conclusion,
taxes
on
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
food
items
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
multiple benefits on human
life
and
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
ranging from
elimination
Correct article usage
the elimination
show examples
deadly
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of deadly
show examples
diseases to
enhancement
Add an article
the enhancement
show examples
of
life
expetancy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
. It will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
an individual to live a healthy
life
by staying away from
adultrated
Correct your spelling
adulterated
or harmful ingredients added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
our
food
by decreasing their buying capacity.
Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure transitions between paragraphs and sentences are smooth and logical. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'As a result' can help create a clearer connection between your ideas.
Task Achievement
For an improved task response, strive for a balanced argument if the question asks to what extent you agree or disagree. Acknowledging the other side, even briefly, can provide a more nuanced view and increase the effectiveness of your argument.
Language Accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and typos that might distract from your argument's clarity. Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct these issues.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the reference to Australian government's policies on tobacco, strongly supports your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay—introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion—is clear and effective in presenting your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Government intervention
  • Public health issues
  • Taxation
  • Unhealthy food
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Consumption
  • Sugar taxes
  • Disproportionately affect
  • Low-income families
  • Healthy alternatives
  • Public health education
  • Socioeconomic groups
  • Subsidies
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Food education
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