The increase in food production owes much to fertilizers and better machinery, but some people think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#food #production #fertilizers #machinery #people #impact #health #community

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It is said that fertilizers and sophisticated machinery can improve food production yield.

Nevertheless

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, some people believe that it could have adverse effects on people’s health and the environment. Personally, I entirely agree with

this

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statement for some reasons, which will be elaborated on more below. Perhaps, one main reason for

this

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is that if a farmer constantly used non-organic fertilizers, people who eat the products would get potential physical diseases

such

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as obesity because they have many hazardous chemical ingredients. A case in point is in Indonesia, there is a growing number of obesity rates attributed to consuming chemical-fertilizer-nurtured plants.

In addition

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, by using

this

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method, the land would experience detrimental effects.

This

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can make the soil harden and lose its porosity.

This

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is because the use of fertilizers increases acid levels in the soil, leading to difficulties

to find

Change preposition

in finding

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healthy soil which we need to grow plants,

thus

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being able to reduce production where the government would inevitably import others to meet people’s needs.

In other words

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, the price of a product might be expensive

where

Correct word choice

and

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this

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can lessen a citizen’s ability to feed his own needs.

As a result

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, the government tends to deal with undernourished ones. Looking from a different perspective, it might be said that chemical materials used for food seem beneficial to some extent, which is that

Correct pronoun usage

they

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quadruples

Correct subject-verb agreement

quadruple

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the yield and

improves

Correct subject-verb agreement

improve

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the quality of crops.

However

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, I personally believe that

this

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could be an unwise viewpoint considering the drawbacks that it may contain. In conclusion, it seems to me that chemical materials have detrimental effects on not only human beings but

also

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the environment.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sat Apr 27 2024

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Structure

To improve your essay, ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single idea and provide clear topic sentences to guide the reader.

Cohesion

Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and transition words to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.

Task Response

While your essay addresses the topic, deeper analysis and more specific examples could enrich your argument.

Introduction & Conclusion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which articulate your overall viewpoint effectively.

Content & Examples

Your essay demonstrates a good attempt to provide relevant examples and reasons supporting your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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The increase in food production owes much to fertilizers and better machinery, but some people think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Q. Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?