Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this issue outweigh advanages of it.
There is an opinion saying that
youngesters
are most Correct your spelling
youngsters
effected
by their peers in their thoughts and actions. From my perspective, Correct your spelling
affected
Although
there are a number of benefits involved in this
approach, the drawbacks accruing to young people
are by no means negligible.
On the plus side, there are some positive point
in interacting with the same age friends. Fix the agreement mistake
points
To begin
with, the sense of blonging
increases in the young generation when they are in the peer groups. Correct your spelling
belonging
That is
, being between peers leads to social and emotional developments
. Fix the agreement mistake
development
For example
, they learn how to socialize with people
who do not think or act like their own families. Furthermore
, sometimes being in thses
groups Correct your spelling
these
help
teenagers to leave their Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
comfort-zone
and Correct your spelling
comfort zone
have
Verb problem
make
a
progress in their personal growth, Correct article usage
apply
therefore
; they may learn new activities which may have a positive influence in
their future life.
Change preposition
on
However
, the downside can not be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with young people
health. Change noun form
people's
That is
to say. youngesters
may engage Correct your spelling
youngsters
to
some Change preposition
in
negetive
activities in order to be accepted Correct your spelling
negative
to
their peer groups. Change preposition
into
For instance
, one of the most dangerous problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
face
Replace the word
faced
youngesters
is Correct your spelling
youngsters
substance-abuse
Correct your spelling
substance
becuse
Correct your spelling
abuse
they
want to fit in with their peers. Correct word choice
because they
Additionally
, the consequences of participating in peer's community result in declining academic performance, as students may prioritize social intraction
over their studies' Correct your spelling
interaction
progresses
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
to conclude
, the influence of being friend
with same age Fix the agreement mistake
friends
people
can be both rewarding and problematic. But in my opinion, the youth
health may be put in jeopardy and it is likely to Change noun form
youth's
ruine
their future as well.Correct your spelling
ruin
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on
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Language Accuracy
Review the use of spell checks for minor typographical errors such as 'youngsters' instead of 'youngesters,' 'negative' instead of 'negetive,' and 'because' instead of 'becuse' to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Language Range
Consider varying your sentence structures more to showcase a range of linguistic capabilities, enhancing the flow and readability of your essay.
Supporting Details
While you've included examples, further elaboration on these examples with more specific details would strengthen your argument and make your points even more convincing.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure among young people.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.
Content Support
Your use of examples, such as the social and emotional development among peer groups and the risks of substance abuse, effectively supports your main points.