Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this issue outweigh advanages of it.

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There is an opinion saying that

youngesters

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youngsters

are most

effected

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affected

show examples

by their peers in their thoughts and actions. From my perspective,

Although

Linking Words

there are a number of benefits involved in

this

Linking Words

approach, the drawbacks accruing to young

people

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are by no means negligible. On the plus side, there are some positive

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

in interacting with the same age friends.

To begin

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with, the sense of

blonging

Correct your spelling

belonging

increases in the young generation when they are in the peer groups.

That is

Linking Words

, being between peers leads to social and emotional

developments

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development

show examples

For example

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, they learn how to socialize with

people

Use synonyms

who do not think or act like their own families.

Furthermore

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, sometimes being in

thses

Correct your spelling

these

groups

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

teenagers to leave their

comfort-zone

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comfort zone

show examples

and

have

Verb problem

make

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

progress in their personal growth,

therefore

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; they may learn new activities which may have a positive influence

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show examples

their future life.

However

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, the downside can not be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with young

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health.

That is

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to say.

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

may engage

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show examples

some

negetive

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negative

activities in order to be accepted

Change preposition

into

show examples

their peer groups.

For instance

Linking Words

, one of the most dangerous

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

face

Replace the word

faced

show examples

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

substance-abuse

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substance

show examples

becuse

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abuse

they

Correct word choice

because they

show examples

want to fit in with their peers.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the consequences of participating in peer's community result in declining academic performance, as students may prioritize social

intraction

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interaction

over their studies'

progresses

Correct subject-verb agreement

progress

show examples

to conclude

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, the influence of being

friend

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friends

show examples

with same age

people

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can be both rewarding and problematic. But in my opinion, the

youth

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youth's

show examples

health may be put in jeopardy and it is likely to

ruine

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ruin

their future as well.

m.tavasoli18Sat Apr 27 2024

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Language Accuracy

Review the use of spell checks for minor typographical errors such as 'youngsters' instead of 'youngesters,' 'negative' instead of 'negetive,' and 'because' instead of 'becuse' to enhance clarity and professionalism.

Language Range

Consider varying your sentence structures more to showcase a range of linguistic capabilities, enhancing the flow and readability of your essay.

Supporting Details

While you've included examples, further elaboration on these examples with more specific details would strengthen your argument and make your points even more convincing.

Task Response

Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure among young people.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.

Content Support

Your use of examples, such as the social and emotional development among peer groups and the risks of substance abuse, effectively supports your main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

substance abuse
compelled
declining academic performance
sense of belonging
connectedness
emotional and social development
comfort zones
personal growth
lifestyle changes
community service
conform
peer group norms
suppress
individual identity
creativity
mental health issues
anxiety
depression
self-esteem
approval

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