Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages of this issue outweigh advanages of it.

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There is an opinion saying that
youngesters
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youngsters

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are most
effected
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affected

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by their peers in their thoughts and actions. From my perspective,
Although
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there are a number of benefits involved in
this
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approach, the drawbacks accruing to young
people
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are by no means negligible. On the plus side, there are some positive
point
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points

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in interacting with the same age friends.
To begin
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with, the sense of
blonging
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belonging

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increases in the young generation when they are in the peer groups.
That is
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, being between peers leads to social and emotional
developments
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development

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.
For example
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, they learn how to socialize with
people
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who do not think or act like their own families.
Furthermore
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, sometimes being in
thses
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these

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groups
help
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helps

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teenagers to leave their
comfort-zone
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comfort zone

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and
have
Verb problem
make

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a
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apply

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progress in their personal growth,
therefore
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; they may learn new activities which may have a positive influence
in
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on

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their future life.
However
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, the downside can not be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with young
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people
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people's

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health.
That is
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to say.
youngesters
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youngsters

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may engage
to
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in

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some
negetive
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negative

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activities in order to be accepted
to
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into

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their peer groups.
For instance
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, one of the most dangerous
problem
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problems

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face
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faced

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youngesters
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youngsters

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is
substance-abuse
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substance

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becuse
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abuse

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they
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because they

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want to fit in with their peers.
Additionally
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, the consequences of participating in peer's community result in declining academic performance, as students may prioritize social
intraction
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interaction

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over their studies'
progresses
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progress

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.
to conclude
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, the influence of being
friend
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friends

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with same age
people
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can be both rewarding and problematic. But in my opinion, the
youth
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youth's

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health may be put in jeopardy and it is likely to
ruine
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ruin

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their future as well.

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Language Accuracy
Review the use of spell checks for minor typographical errors such as 'youngsters' instead of 'youngesters,' 'negative' instead of 'negetive,' and 'because' instead of 'becuse' to enhance clarity and professionalism.
Language Range
Consider varying your sentence structures more to showcase a range of linguistic capabilities, enhancing the flow and readability of your essay.
Supporting Details
While you've included examples, further elaboration on these examples with more specific details would strengthen your argument and make your points even more convincing.
Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced view on the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure among young people.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guides the reader through your argument.
Content Support
Your use of examples, such as the social and emotional development among peer groups and the risks of substance abuse, effectively supports your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • substance abuse
  • compelled
  • declining academic performance
  • sense of belonging
  • connectedness
  • emotional and social development
  • comfort zones
  • personal growth
  • lifestyle changes
  • community service
  • conform
  • peer group norms
  • suppress
  • individual identity
  • creativity
  • mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • self-esteem
  • approval
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