Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about equally important and indispensable factors.
However
, I will discuss and explain my point of view in
this
essay.
Firstly
, it is evident that
parents
are the first people to make contact with them and spend the most
time
with them;
due to
this
reason, their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is quite vital to the child.
This
is because the child will tend to imitate the performance of what the dad and mom are doing.
For example
, if one of the
parents
likes to play violent games, it will lead to
children
exhibiting vicious tendencies in the future.
Therefore
,
parents
play a significant role in
children
's lives; they must educate them well.
On the other hand
, when
children
get older, the
time
they spend in school becomes and even overtakes the
time
they spend at
home
.
Hence
, someone said
schools
are considered the second
home
of
children
.
Children
in
this
age group are easily susceptible to the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of others around them;
thus
, educators must build a supportive environment.
For instance
, a friendly environment fosters pupils' sympathy.
Hence
,
schools
are
also
crucial in forming
children
to be excellent members of society. In conclusion,
parents
and
schools
are essential and have equal responsibility in teaching
children
how to be good community members.
While
parents
represent the
home
for
children
,
schools
are their second
home
.
Therefore
, they spend most of their
time
in both houses and learn about morality, life skills, and language, making them effective in society.
Submitted by yuwen027 on

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structure
Your essay introduces both viewpoints and provides a clear position in the conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
examples
Elaborate on your examples to make your points more convincing. For instance, you could discuss how specific behaviors exhibited by parents or teachers concretely translate to societal impact.
development
Try to expand your ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes equally to your argument. Some points are less developed than others, which affects the overall balance of the essay.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion that both parents and schools play important roles.
understanding
You have successfully identified the main arguments on both sides of the debate, showing an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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