Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about equally important and indispensable factors.

However

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, I will discuss and explain my point of view in

this

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essay.

Firstly

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, it is evident that

parents

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are the first people to make contact with them and spend the most

time

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with them;

due to

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this

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reason, their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is quite vital to the child.

This

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is because the child will tend to imitate the performance of what the dad and mom are doing.

For example

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, if one of the

parents

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likes to play violent games, it will lead to

children

Use synonyms

exhibiting vicious tendencies in the future.

Therefore

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parents

Use synonyms

play a significant role in

children

Use synonyms

's lives; they must educate them well.

On the other hand

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, when

children

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get older, the

time

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they spend in school becomes and even overtakes the

time

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they spend at

home

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Hence

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, someone said

schools

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are considered the second

home

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

Children

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this

Linking Words

age group are easily susceptible to the

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of others around them;

thus

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, educators must build a supportive environment.

For instance

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, a friendly environment fosters pupils' sympathy.

Hence

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schools

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are

also

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crucial in forming

children

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to be excellent members of society. In conclusion,

parents

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and

schools

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are essential and have equal responsibility in teaching

children

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how to be good community members.

While

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parents

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represent the

home

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for

children

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schools

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are their second

home

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Therefore

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, they spend most of their

time

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in both houses and learn about morality, life skills, and language, making them effective in society.

yuwen027Mon Sep 23 2024

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structure

Your essay introduces both viewpoints and provides a clear position in the conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.

examples

Elaborate on your examples to make your points more convincing. For instance, you could discuss how specific behaviors exhibited by parents or teachers concretely translate to societal impact.

development

Try to expand your ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes equally to your argument. Some points are less developed than others, which affects the overall balance of the essay.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion that both parents and schools play important roles.

understanding

You have successfully identified the main arguments on both sides of the debate, showing an understanding of the topic.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

Some students prefer classes with frequent discussions between the professor and the students with almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with many lectures and almost no discussions. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?