Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages
It is an arguable topic that children should start learning the
language
of other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
while
they are in the
primary Correct article usage
apply
school
instead
of secondary school
. In my opinion
learning a different Add a comma
opinion,
language
at folk
Correct article usage
a folk
school
has more benefits than drawbacks.
The first and foremost positive of this
is that a child’s brain is more active at this
age. They have a better grasping power and learning ability as compared to high school
children. Therefore
it is easy for them to understand and learn a language
that is
different from their mother tongue. Apart from that, if they learn foreign
Add an article
a foreign
language
properly than
Correct your spelling
then
this
will act as an extra skill in them that will help them to communicate with people outside of their country. For instance
, if they know English well and opt for studying abroad in future than
they will be able to exchange their ideas easily with the people of that country. Replace the word
then
In addition
to that, with the ability to speak and write another language
young one’s
will be able to secure better jobs in Change noun form
people
the
multinational companies Correct article usage
apply
for example
, get recruited in
large import and export corporations to deal with foreign clients.
Change preposition
by
Although
, on the negative side , if children Correct word choice
However
will
start learning a new Verb problem
apply
language
in the preparatory school
than
they will be overwhelmed with Replace the word
then
extra
Add an article
the extra
burden
. Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
Furthermore
, because of this
they will not able
to focus on all the other subjects properly and Add a missing verb
be able
this
will effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
overall
concentration thus
resulting in poor performance. For example
, diversion
of focus could lead them to bad grades.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a diversion
although
learning an unfamiliar language
in graded school
can sometimes act as a burden on a child but
considering the Remove the conjunction
apply
overall
positives it has on them in future, benefits
of Correct article usage
the benefits
this
outshine the negatives.Submitted by harleenarora620 on
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Task response
Ensure your points are directly linked to the question being asked. Your introduction swiftly and clearly states your viewpoint, linking directly to the question prompt, which enhances clarity.
Coherence and cohesion
To enrich your essay further, try incorporating a wider variety of complex structures and linking phrases. This can make your argumentation even more nuanced and your essay more fluid.
Task response
While your examples are relevant, aiming for more detailed and diverse examples could strengthen your argument, making it more compelling and comprehensive.
Task response
Consider a more balanced approach in discussing both sides to provide depth to your analysis, making sure to explore each perspective thoroughly before reaching a conclusion. This could enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Structure and organisation
You've demonstrated an effective structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that neatly ties your argument together.
Position and clarity
Your essay benefits greatly from a clear stance on the subject, facilitating a coherent argument throughout.
Use of examples
The use of examples to support your points is commendable, as it helps to ground your arguments in real-world contexts.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...