The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations reduce consumpation of fossil fuel (gas and oil). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

About a decade ago industrial development increased rapidly, To compete in
this
race every country promoted the
industrialist
Fix the agreement mistake
industrialists
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to build new industries in the country and play a constructive role in improving the economy.
On the other hand
, increasing industrialisation creates many problems in
this
regard. The factories spread fossil fuel and different types of chemicals which are not only dangerous for our atmosphere but
also
harmful to human health.
Due to
the extertion of these gases, people are facing curious diseases.
Furthermore
, the seriousness of the issue needs more attention than ever before because all the nations are suffering from the problem. So
thisis
Correct your spelling
this is
a global issue and should be resolved globally.
Moreover
, the role of the international community is very important to handle the situation because the international community has the power to take solid measures. An
awereness
Correct your spelling
awareness
campaign should be organised for the people doing
such
type of business. Through
this
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
, they should be informed about the harmfulness of chemical wastage. It is
also
the duty of governments to educate their citizens about the precautionary measures which should be taken to protect themselves.
In addition
, there should
also
be rules and regulations before investing in a new project they are bound by law to act upon the regulations.
To sum up
, I conclude my findings that no country achieves the target of development until they create a friendly atmosphere for investors but it should
also
be regularised by law to protect their citizens from the harm of fuel fossil.
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you directly address the task by specifically stating whether you agree or disagree with the need for immediate international action on fossil fuel reduction. Your essay touches on related issues but does not provide a clear stance.
Task Achievement
Work on creating a more structured introduction that clearly outlines your essay's argument or position on the topic. A clear conclusion summing up your views is also essential for better task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs each focusing on a single main idea. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and connect your ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Language Use
You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary related to the topic.
Content Knowledge
You've highlighted relevant issues related to fossil fuel use and its implications, which shows your understanding of the topic's complexity.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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