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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below.
#line #visits #australia #residents
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The graph and table provide some information about the number of foreign tourists who visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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Australia
 yearly.
It is clear that
visitors
 to
Australia
 by overseas residents had an upward trend completely and Japan had the highest rate of
traveling
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travelling
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 to
Australia
. In 1975,under 10
million
 persons
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited
Australia
 and
then
 from 1975 to 1985, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of passengers increased significantly by 5
million
. Focusing on the second decade, illustrates that
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
visitors
 climbed from 15
million
 to 24,8
million
 which is more than the first decade. From 1995 onward,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to
Australia
 followed the same way and grew noticeably from 24,8 to 31
million
of
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apply
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people which means that it had
a
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apply
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minimal growth in
compares
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comparison
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 to
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 decade. Regarding the statistics what stands out from the scheme is that
,
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apply
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 Japanese
visitors
 had a tremendous surge from 3,2 to 12,0
million
 between 1975 and 2005.
Also
, South Korean passengers experienced a boom from 2.9 to 9,1
million
 in 30 years.
However
chinese
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Chinese
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 did not acclaim
to travel
Verb problem
apply
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Australia
Change preposition
to Australia
show examples
 like other Asian nations and showed a slight increase of .8
million
. American
visitors
 approximately treble from .4 to 1.1
million
.
Moreover
, British people saw a moderate growth of 2,9
million
 at the same time and Europe trippers increased considerably from 1.1 to 4,5
million
.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, visitors, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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