IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given charts depict the information about
Visitor
Correct article usage
the Visitor
show examples
 Satisfaction survey of Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 before renovation
as well as
 after renovation.
Overall
, it can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 seen from the chart that, not only
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in satisfaction but
also
shoot up
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the number of Individuals after
refurbishment
Correct article usage
the refurbishment
show examples
 of
Ashdown
Correct article usage
the Ashdown
show examples
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
.
According to
 the table which provides total number of visitors before renovation was 74,000. In
Pie
Correct article usage
the Pie
show examples
 Chart of that survey,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 noteable point
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the Proportion of dissatisfied People
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more than the Satisfied individuals by 40% and 30%. Very satisfied, very dissatisfied and no response had less amount than 20% which were 15%,
10
Correct word choice
and 10
show examples
%. and 5%. After refurbishment, the number of visitors Swelled Significantly.
In addition
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
also
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in the proportion of very satisfied and satisfied by 35% and 40%.
However
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of dissatisfied and very dissatisfied tumbled down and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15%
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and 5%.
Moreover
, No response did not show any movement.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: