IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion .

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It is an
undenianie
Correct your spelling
undeniable
 truth that, the regular increase in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of a
nation
Use synonyms
 has a
Possitive
Correct your spelling
Positive
 impact on
local
Add an article
the local
a local
show examples
 level
as well as
Linking Words
globle
Correct word choice
the global
show examples
 level.
However
Linking Words
, certain authorities assert that economic Improvement is the most vital element.
Whereas
Linking Words
 few human Support Other
kind
Change the wording
kinds
show examples
 of
progres
Correct your spelling
progress
 are crucial too. Both
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
show examples
 will be investigated in upcoming Paragraphs. The economic improvements have
mumerous
Correct your spelling
numerous
 advantages. The first and foremost
fortor
Correct your spelling
factor
that is
Linking Words
, it provides financial data to investors. By
this
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 what I mean, it imparts the
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
 data
for
Change preposition
apply
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not only to foreign investors but
also
Linking Words
 native businessmen.
For instance
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, the growth in GDP and lower level of inflation rates of a
nation
Use synonyms
 work as an invitation for global People to conduct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business or start an organization in that Country.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 creates employment opportunities for local dwellers.
Secondly
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,
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 in economy
also
Linking Words
Stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
Stops
show examples
 the inflation rates, which directly
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a positive effect on
individuells
Correct your spelling
individual
saving
Replace the word
savings
show examples
.
On the other hand
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,
Linking Words
Overall
Correct article usage
the Overall
show examples
 growth of
Use synonyms
nation
Add an article
a nation
the nation
show examples
 is
must
Correct article usage
a must
show examples
 and inevitable. To uphold
this
Linking Words
 statement,
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
 reason is basic requirements should
be improve
Change the verb form
be improved
show examples
. In Simple words, enhancement in education, healthcare and infrastructure impart ample amenities to live a life without any
Problem
Fix the agreement mistake
Problems
show examples
 in that
nation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an individual will be happy and enjoy life, if the basic needs are completed.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth will not be vital for that person. In conclusion, GDP improvement aids
to Create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
 a good image
as well as
Linking Words
proffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
proffers
show examples
 an opportunity to invest.
However
Linking Words
, for the native human,
overall
Linking Words
 development Plays
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 crucial role as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
. That's why in my opinion Other progress
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vital too.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure clarity in your introduction and conclusion. Clear introductions and conclusions help to guide the reader through your argument effectively.
Examples & Support
Work on providing clearer, more specific examples that directly support your argument. This strengthens your essay and makes your points more convincing.
Paragraph Structure
Review the structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is developed cohesively.
Proofreading
Consider more careful proofreading to avoid typographical and grammatical errors, as these can hinder your overall coherence and the clarity of your message.
Argument Development
Expand on your reasoning to enhance the coherence of your argument. Connecting your points more explicitly can make your essay more compelling.
Task Response
You addressed both views asked in the prompt, showing a good attempt to cover the task fully.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a clear attempt to structure arguments logically, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Language Use
You’ve used a range of sentence structures and vocabulary, which is positive for the coherence of your text.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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