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Band 3.5

average daily sales of four products, by numbers of servings

#sales #four #products #numbers #servings
The bar chart provides data about the number of portions of several kinds of
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
, which
sold
Add a missing verb
are sold
show examples
 every day with an average. The details are given for two seasons, namely
winter
 and
summer
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 hot foods,
such
 as coffee and soup, were more popular in
winter
. Notably, the number of
salad
Fix the agreement mistake
salads
show examples
 sold is precisely the same in both times of year.
While
 iced coffee is the least in demand during winters with only an insignificant number of
servings
 being sold daily, it is the highest-sold category with 40
servings
 in summers.
Similarly
, ice cream is the second most sold dainty, reaching 35 units in
summer
, but, surprisingly, its popularity is considerable in
winter
 as well, and is lower by just about 10%.
In contrast
 ,hot coffee is bought approximately 75 times in
winter
;
however
, in
summer
, it
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 by more than half and comes down to 30
servings
. Soup is the second most demanded dish in
winter
 with 50 items purchased every day,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 in
summer
, it saw a 50% reduction in sales. Surprisingly, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of salads bought
didn't change neither
Rewrite the sentence
didn't change either
changed neither
show examples
 in
winter
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 in
summer
, remaining stable at around 25
servings
.a
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between main and supporting points to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce variety in your sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.
Task Achievement
For higher scores, make sure your introduction and conclusion are more distinct and encapsulate your overall analysis more precisely.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to clearly distinguish between different observations and evaluations.
Task Achievement
The comparison between winter and summer sales was clear and easy to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
You effectively used data from the chart to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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